Posted on by TracyC

Ramona and Her Father

Ramona and Her Father by Beverly Cleary, 1975, 1977.

It’s September, and second-grader Ramona Quimby is already making out her Christmas list. However, Christmas this year might not be what Ramona expects. Her father comes home and explains that he’s been laid off from his job because a larger company bought the company he worked for and laid off the extra workers. Mrs. Quimby has a part time job, but it doesn’t pay much. Everyone in the Quimby family soon becomes worried about money.

Mrs. Quimby finds another job that’s full time, but Mr. Quimby still struggles to find work. Ramona doesn’t like to see her father so worried and stressed, and she tries to think of some way she could also earn money. When her father comments about how much money a boy on a television advertisement must have made, Ramona sets herself to memorizing various advertising phrases and repeating them, hoping to be discovered and hired to make an ad herself. Unfortunately, things that people say on ads don’t work in real-world settings, especially when you tell your teacher that her wrinkled stockings look like elephant skin.

The family has to eat food that they don’t particularly like in order to save money, and they start buying cheaper cat food for their cat. Picky-picky refuses to eat the cheap cat food, and before Halloween, he eats part of the girls’ jack o’lantern in desperation. Beezus, upset at the idea that their cat is apparently starving and desperate, angrily asks her father why they can’t afford Picky-picky’s usual cat food when they seem to have enough money for his cigarettes. (It’s a valid question. During my first semester of college, I totaled up a classmate’s expenses on cigarettes and realized that what she spent on them for a year was about the same as full-time student tuition at our community college, by early 2000s standards.) Her father tells her that’s none of her business, and Beezus retorts that it is her business. Cigarettes are harmful, and Mr. Quimby is spending money on them that the family desperately needs.

Ramona is worried because this is the first time that she’s heard that cigarettes are bad, although Beezus says that she learned it in school. Ramona tries to ask her father if what Beezus said is true, and he just says that he expects to be an old man someday, the kind that tells reporters on his hundredth birthday that he owes his longevity to cigarettes and whisky. This joke doesn’t reassure Ramona. Ramona decides that she’s going to get her father to stop smoking.

Ramona gets Beezus to help her make anti-smoking signs. At first, their father tries to ignore the signs, and then he starts getting annoyed with them. Ramona worries that she’s been mean to her father and upset him too much, but he later admits that she was right and that he’s going to try to quit smoking. Ramona takes him at his word and throws his cigarettes away, although he said that he would rather have cut down gradually. Still, his wife and daughters are happy about him quitting. For awhile, Mr. Quimby is edgy and irritable as he tries to get used to not smoking as well as still looking for a job.

As Christmas approaches, the girls’ Sunday school begins preparing to put on a Nativity play. Beezus gets cast as Mary, which pleases her because Henry Huggins is going to play Joseph. Ramona is so excited about the play that she wants a creative role for herself, and after the shepherds are cast, she says that she wants to be a sheep to go with the shepherds. The Sunday school teacher says that sounds like a good idea, but they’ve never had any sheep in the play before and don’t have a costume for her. Ramona says that her mother could make her one, and other children also say they want to be sheep.

However, as Beezus points out, now that their mother is working full time, she doesn’t really have time to sew a costume. Their mother also says that they can’t afford to buy new cloth for a costume, and the best she can do is an old white bathrobe that she might be able to alter into costume. Ramona’s father snaps at her that she’s been inconsiderate for expecting her to do something like this without asking first. Ramona feels badly and overhears her father calling her a spoiled brat. With his irritability, he’s been picking at her for various things, and one day, Ramona argues with him when she comes home from school and smells cigarette smoke.

Ramona’s father reassures her that he hasn’t purchased any new cigarettes. He just found an old one in a pocket that he forgot that he had and decided to smoke it to see if it would help him feel better. The two of them have a heart-to-heart talk about Ramona worrying about why they can’t be a happy family. Ramona’s father tells her that their family is happy. It’s just that no family is perfect and nobody’s life is perfect, and everyone goes through hard times now and then. The people in Ramona’s family still love each other and do their best for each other even when things are hard and they don’t always get along.

Things improve for the Quimbys as Christmas approaches. Mr. Quimby finally finds a new job. Ramona almost backs out of the Nativity play because her mother didn’t have time to make her a full costume, and she feels silly with what she’s wearing, but she changes her mind with the help of three older girls who were recruited to replace the Three Wise Men who backed out of the play.

One thing that kind of surprised me in the story was that Ramona’s parents seemed mildly scandalized when Ramona and Howie sang “99 Bottles of Beer on the Wall.” Beezus, who learned the song at summer camp and taught it to Ramona says that the neighbors will probably think they’re beer guzzlers after hearing Ramona and Howie sing it all up and down the street. It struck me as weird because I remember that everyone knew that song when I was a kid in the 1980s and 1990s, and nobody thought anything of it. I certainly never heard of anyone being scandalized by it. It’s just a silly counting song, and nobody really thought that any kid singing it had ever had beer. In fact, it was a common song for parents to get their kids to sing on long car trips because it takes a long time to finish, and during that time, the kids aren’t complaining or asking, “Are we there yet?”

The book is available to borrow and read for free online through Internet Archive (multiple copies).

Posted on by TracyC

Ramona the Brave

Ramona the Brave by Beverly Cleary, 1975.

Six-year-old Ramona Quimby thinks of herself as brave. Now that she’s going into the first grade, she’s no longer just a little kid. She even stood up to some boys on the playground who were making fun of her older sister, Beatrice, for being called “Beezus.”

However, Ramona soon discovers that not every sees her the way she sees herself. Beezus is embarrassed at the way her little sister told off those boys and is sure that they’re now going to make a much bigger deal of the incident at school because of it. Beezus says that she’s sick of her silly nickname, which rhymes with “Jesus” and just wants to be called “Beatrice.” Ramona agrees with her, both because she feels bad that she accidentally embarrassed her sister and because it’s her fault that Beezus got her nickname. When she was smaller, Ramona couldn’t pronounce the name “Beatrice” very well and ended up saying “Beezus” instead, and the mispronunciation stuck. Ramona is trying hard to be a big kid now, and she doesn’t like to remember that she used to not even be able to say her own sister’s name. Ramona agrees to call her sister Beatrice in public and to only use the Beezus nickname at home.

Ramona wants to be taken seriously, and she hates it when her mother is amused by some of the silly things she does. (I know the feeling, and so do many other people!) The last thing she wants is to just be a silly little kid that people laugh at, and nobody seems to understand how she feels. She especially hates it when her sister keeps calling her a pest.

Fortunately, their mother understands that part of the problem is that the girls are getting bigger, and they’re starting to feel cramped sharing a room with each other. Mr. and Mrs. Quimby have decided to add an extra room onto the house so the girls won’t have to share anymore, and Mrs. Quimby is going to take a part-time job to help pay for it. Before the girls can start arguing about who gets the new room, Mrs. Quimby tells them that it’s already decided that they will take turns, trading off rooms every six months and that Ramona will have the first turn in the new room.

Watching the workmen make a hole in the wall of their house and build the new room is fascinating, although Ramona doesn’t have the patience for planning, methodical work, and learning how different tools are supposed to be used, like her friend Howie. Ramona prefers playing their made-up game of Brick Factory, where she and Howie smash old, broken bricks with rocks. Ramona takes the opportunity to put her special initial, a Q with cat ears and whiskers, into the wet concrete for the floor of the room, and she can’t resist the opportunity to jump through the new hole in the wall of their house. The workmen cover the hole with a sheet of plastic when they go home for the day, but the girls think it’s kind of spooky having a hole in the wall of their house. They imagine that something horrible could sneak in through the hole, like a ghost, maybe one that looks like a gorilla. Ramona can’t wait to tell the other kids all about it when she starts first grade!

Unfortunately, the new school year doesn’t start out the way Ramona hopes. Instead of everyone being excited about her news and how she watched the workmen chop a hole in the side of her house, everyone laughs because the teacher had just made a joke about her being Ramona Kitty Cat because she drew the cat ears and whiskers onto the Q on her name tag the way she always does. Ramona hates being laughed at and made to feel like a fool. Worse still, her friend Howie doesn’t defend her because Ramona said that they “chopped” a hole instead of “prying” it open with crowbars. Because of Ramona’s technical inaccuracy, Howie makes her sound like she was lying about the whole thing!

Then, when the kids make paper bag owls for Parents’ Night, Susan copies Ramona’s design, and the teacher, Mrs. Griggs, praises Susan to the whole class for coming up with the idea of having the eyes looking to the side. She doesn’t even notice Ramona’s owl. Ramona, afraid that everyone else will think that she’s the copycat because of Mrs. Grigg’s public praise of Susan’s owl, just like they all thought she was a liar and laughed at her before because of what Mrs. Griggs and Howie said on the first day of school, crumples her owl up and throws it away before anyone can see it. But, that doesn’t help relieve Ramona’s feelings at the injustice of the situation. She’s owl-less because of Susan stealing her idea. In a fit of temper, she crumples up Susan’s owl, too, and runs away when Susan tells on her even though Mrs. Griggs repeatedly says that she doesn’t like tattletales. (Honestly, I’ve never understood why adults tell kids that. It just encourages kids to behave badly and label others as “tattletale” when they complain, even when the complaint is just. It just gives bullies more power to act with impunity. I also think kids should be encouraged to talk about things, especially some of the more difficult things to talk about, and the whole “I don’t want to hear from tattletales” shuts down conversations before they even start. I’ve guessed that it has something to do with not wanting to take the time to deal with a lot of petty complaints, but at least hear someone out before you decide what they’re going to tell you and how important it is!) Even when Ramona explains the situation to her mother, she can tell that her mother doesn’t fully understand how she feels, and she is forced to apologize to Susan. Mrs. Griggs makes it all the more embarrassing by forcing Ramona to apologize in front of the whole class. Ramona knows that Mrs. Griggs doesn’t understand her and is sure that Mrs. Griggs hates her.

Ramona’s new room isn’t much of a comfort, either. She finds it a bit spooky, and when she’s alone in it, her imagination runs wild, like it did the night that she and her sister were imagining what kind of ghost could get in through the hole in the wall. Ramona certainly doesn’t feel very brave and grown-up about having a room to herself, but she refuses to admit it because she doesn’t want anyone to think that she’s a baby for being scared.

Things come to a head when Mrs. Griggs sends home a progress report that says that Ramona needs to use more self-control and keep her eyes on her own work. Ramona knows that it’s totally unfair because she’s been very self-controlled since the owl incident, in spite of Mrs. Griggs’s inconsiderate lack of understanding, and the only reason why she sometimes looks at the paper of the boy next to her is that he’s been seriously struggling with his work, and she’s been trying to help him. When Ramona is so fed up that she tells her family that she needs to say a bad word and the worst word she can think of to say is “guts”, everyone laughs at her, and Ramona bursts into tears, unable to take it anymore.

Tears and anger serve a purpose, though. Sometimes, an outburst is the only way to make someone understand, and understanding is what Ramona most needs. The family has an honest discussion about Ramona’s feelings, and Beezus tells her that she understands what it’s like to be little and laughed at for doing or saying something silly, reminding her mother about the times when she laughed about things she did, back when Ramona was too little to remember it. Beezus says that her mother’s laughter hurt her feelings when she was Ramona’s age, too, and Mrs. Quimby apologizes. Beezus also says that she never liked Mrs. Griggs very much when she was her teacher, either. Ramona asks if she could switch to the other first grade class at school, but her mother is reluctant to arrange it because her schoolwork has improved and because some of Mrs. Griggs’s criticism was correct and that Ramona does need to improve on her self-control. Mrs. Quimby also says that she wants Ramona to learn to understand and work with different types of people. Mrs. Griggs might not be her kind of person, and she might not always understand Ramona, but Ramona isn’t always easy to understand.

Personally, I didn’t think that last comment was a very good way to put it. One of the great things about the Ramona books is that Ramona’s feelings are easy to understand and identify with. Beezus certainly understood what Ramona meant about what it’s like to be laughed at for just being a kid. It’s something many of us experienced when we were kids, and we identify with how Ramona feels about it. (Didn’t Ramona’s mother ever go through this herself, or does she just not think about it? I kind of wondered when she didn’t seem to understand what her daughters were talking about at first.) I think it would have been better to put more of the emphasis on the idea that different types of people need to learn to respect each other and get along even when they don’t fully understand each other. Other people aren’t always easy to understand, but that’s not because Ramona herself is difficult to understand. Ramona’s feelings aren’t any less understandable than Mrs. Griggs’s, it’s more that not all people have the same capacity for understanding others because they don’t have as much empathy as others or the imagination to consider circumstances they haven’t personally been in themselves or are too focused on their own priorities and don’t have the time or patience for understanding. Adults often don’t consider things from a child’s point of view because their adult priorities in their busy adult lives take precedence, they discount the validity of what children think and feel because children are less experienced in life and sometimes express themselves clumsily, and they don’t slow down and take a step back or a second look or listen when they should. But, they could show a little more consideration for the child’s feelings even they don’t fully understand them. My own first grade experience wasn’t any better than Ramona’s, and I had my own “Mrs. Griggs.” Adults forget that kids can feel and experience things beyond their ability to fully explain them to others. One of the difficulties of being young, at least for me, was not having the vocabulary necessary to make myself understood or ask all the questions that I wanted to ask, and I often had to deal with adults who were short on patience. I can see that Ramona also struggles with finding the right words to express what she’s feeling or what’s really happening, like when she used the word “chopped” instead of “pried” to describe how the workmen opened a hole in the side of her house. I think that learning words and new ways to communicate with different people is an important part of the story.

Fortunately, Ramona’s father is right that the bad things will blow over, and Ramona’s situation improves. Some of the other kids in class become sympathetic to Ramona because they recognize that Mrs. Griggs shouldn’t have made her apology to Susan an embarrassing public apology. Ramona, although frequently bored in class, learns to read better, and she enjoys reading, finding that she can read more interesting stories when she knows more difficult words. She also meets her older sister’s teacher, and he calls her Ramona Q instead of Ramona Kitty Cat, like Mrs. Griggs did, making Ramona realize that there’s life beyond first grade and that better, more sympathetic teachers are waiting for her. She also becomes less afraid of her new room.

A scary encounter with a dog on the way to school that causes Ramona to lose one of her shoes also brings some unexpected sympathy and understanding from Mrs. Griggs. Ramona comes to understand that Mrs. Griggs is trying to be helpful when she offers her one of the old boots from the lost and found to replace the shoe she lost, that Mrs. Griggs simply doesn’t understand Ramona’s feelings about those old boots (they’re old, dirty, and kind of yucky), and that she isn’t likely to understand because she has her own priorities. Instead of getting mad at Mrs. Griggs for her lack of understanding, this realization causes Ramona to come up with her own creative solution to the problem. Ramona gains a better image of herself because of her creative problem solving and her bravery in a difficult situation. Mrs. Griggs also begins to show signs of understanding that Ramona is a creative person who needs a little room to demonstrate her creativity.

The book is available to borrow and read for free online through Internet Archive (multiple copies).

Posted on by TracyC · 1 Comment

The Encyclopedia of Immaturity

The Encyclopedia of Immaturity by the Editors of Klutz Press, 2007.

This book is part of the classic children’s hobby and activity series from Klutz Press. It’s a collection of pranks, stunts, and fun things to do. There is too much in this book to describe everything in detail, so I’ll just explain some general themes and highlights.

The stunts and activities are in no particular order, and the book isn’t divided into any special sections. Most of activity or stunts just takes up a page or two of explanation, but some are longer, about three or four pages. None of them are very long.

Some of the activities are classic kids’ activities or pranks, like skipping stones, hanging a spoon from your nose, and Peep jousting (a more modern classic – the book points out that you can do it with regular marshmallows, too, but I like Peeps for the imagery). I remember the one about how to blow a bubble gum bubble from your nose instead of your mouth (found on p. 271) being mentioned in Amber Brown Goes Fourth, when Amber’s new friend, Brandi, teaches her how to do it.

There are also some more difficult tricks to master, like how to do an ollie on a skateboard and how to do a wheelie on a bike. (At least, I consider things like that difficult because I’ve never been able to master them.) I also don’t know how to whistle with my fingers, although the book shows multiple ways to do it.

Some of the pages are designed to be cut out and made into things, like the page that provides a pattern for a paper fortune teller and the page where you cut a square of paper so that it’s possible for a person to go through it.

Some of the activities in the book were also in previous Klutz books, like juggling and how to use trick photography to take pictures that make people look like they’re small enough to pick up. I also remember the backseat rituals for long car trips being part of the Klutz Kids Travel book.

My two favorite sections in the book are the part about how to be a headless person for Halloween and how to sneak around. I never dressed as a headless person as a kid, but I like the idea, and might still do it. I did a lot of sneaking around as a kid because I always loved hide and seek.

There’s quite a variety of activities in this book, including some indoor activities and outdoor activities, and things that can be done on car trips. Some of these activities look kind of gross to me (and still would have when I was a kid because I wasn’t one of the kids who was into gross outs), like how to make fake dog barf, but there’s such a wide selection of activities, I’d say that there’s plenty here for anybody to find fun things to do!

The book is available to borrow and read for free online through Internet Archive (multiple copies), along with the sequel to the book, The Encyclopedia of Immaturity, Volume 2.

Posted on by TracyC

The Klutz Book of Card Games

The Klutz Book of Card Games for Sharks & Others by the Editors of Klutz Press, 1990.

This book is part of the classic children’s hobby and activity series from Klutz Press. Originally, this book came with a deck of cards, which was attached to the book at the hole in the upper left corner.

The book begins with a brief history of playing cards. The exact origins of playing cards are unknown, but the book describes some notable events in card game history, including the fact that people throughout history have often disapproved of playing cards, identifying them as signs of sloth or believing them to be associated with the devil (probably for their connection with gambling, although the book doesn’t get that specific). The book says that the modern form of the standard 52-card deck with 4 suits of 13 cards solidified around the late 1400s in Europe.

The book then gives instructions for playing various card games, including various types of solitaire and two-player games as well as games for larger groups. The book has the rules for different versions of Poker and Rummy and some childhood classics like War, I Doubt It, Crazy Eights, and Old Maid. For games that involve gambling concepts, like Poker or Michigan, they recommend using M&Ms.

Besides giving the rules for the games, each section also includes a few words about the history of games or some interesting thoughts or facts about them or tips for playing. Many of the thoughts (and some of the history facts) about games are joking, like the tip for Egyptian War, “This game is traditionally played on lunch or picnic tables, when you’re supposed to be taking your tray back.”

At the end of the book, there are instructions for two magic tricks with cards and for building a house of cards.

The book is available to borrow and free for free online through Internet Archive.

Posted on by TracyC

The Official Koosh Book

The Official Koosh Book by John Cassidy and Koosh ball inventor Scott Stillinger, 1989.

This book is part of the classic children’s hobby and activity series from Klutz Press. Originally, this book came with three mini Koosh balls, which were attached to the book at the holes on the left side of the book. I can’t remember now whether I actually got my set of mini Koosh balls with this book or if I bought them separately because my book was used. I’ve had this book for a long time, and my favorite activity in the book is juggling, a favorite staple activity of the Klutz series as well as a personal favorite of mine.

My copy of the book isn’t a first edition, and the introduction explains some changes that had taken place since the book was first written. John Cassidy of Klutz Press partnered with the inventor of the Koosh ball, Scott Stillinger, to write the book to explain various ways kids could use Koosh balls and games people could play with them when the toy was a new product. Since the book was first written, Koosh balls had become much more popular, and new varieties of Koosh balls were created, including the Mini Kooshes that came with the book.

Koosh balls are rubber balls covered with rubber filaments that are something like short spaghetti, making them feel soft, even if you get hit in the head with them while learning how to juggle. (I speak from experience.) This soft, painless-when-hit-with-one quality of Koosh balls was completely intentional on the part of the creator. It’s also the reason why they’re still a popular toy and the basis for many of the Koosh games in the book.

Many of the games in this book make use of the fact that it doesn’t hurt to be hit with a Koosh ball to give battle games like Dodge Ball and Bombardment a new twist. As the book says, “Dodge Koosh also fulfills the basic human need to bonk others of our same species.” I get that feeling some days, but when it’s done with Koosh balls, it’s pretty harmless.

Because Kooshes are soft, you can even play games indoors that usually wouldn’t work indoors because of the damage that could be done to things and people.

The book also suggests using Koosh balls for variations on Footbag (or Hacky Sack) or Horseshoes. Koosh balls work for these types of games because they don’t roll like regular balls. Because Koosh balls are made of rubber, they can also be used in a swimming pool.

The book is available to borrow and read for free online through Internet Archive (multiple copies).

Posted on by TracyC

The Klutz Book of Knots

The Klutz Book of Knots by John Cassidy, 1985.

This book is part of the classic children’s hobby and activity series from Klutz Press, and it explains how to tie various useful knots. Originally, this book came with a two cords that could be used to practice the knots, one red and one blue, which were attached to the book through the holes in the front cover. The book begins with an introduction, explaining different categories of knots and how to use them: loops (knots for tying a rope to itself), bends (knots for tying one rope to another), and hitches (knots for tying a rope to something else).

One of the best features of this book is that there are holes, slits, and notches in the thick board pages of the book, so the knots can be practiced directly in the book.

The knots have a variety of uses, and the book even explains how to tie better, longer-holding bows in shoelaces and how to tie the type of bow used for a bow tie.

The book ends with instructions for a magic rope trick.

The book is available to borrow and read online through Internet Archive.

Posted on by TracyC

Tricky Pix

Tricky Pix: Do-It-Yourself Trick Photography by Paula Weed and Carla Jimison, 2001.

This book is part of the classic children’s hobby and activity series from Klutz Press and explains how to perform trick photography. Originally, this book came with a real camera that could be used to take trick pictures. The camera was a film camera instead of a digital camera, using 35mm film, but the film was not provided.

Now, digital cameras have almost entirely replaced film camera for popular photography, and film is actually much harder to come by, and not as many places offer film development services. In the very early 2000s, when this book was first published, digital photography was just starting to take hold, and digital cameras were more expensive, so a kid’s first camera was still likely to be a film camera. In just a few more years, that shifted abruptly with the increasing popularity of cell phone cameras and further developments that made digital cameras increasingly affordable for general use. The beginning of the book explains how the camera works and how to load the film.

The fact that this book was designed to be used with a film camera is important because this style of trick photography relies on physical illusions, not images that are digitally altered with Photoshop or similar software. In a way, this makes the pictures more interesting because they are largely unaltered from their original form. That is, you’re seeing what the camera saw at the moment that the picture was taken. The tricks involve using different perspectives and camera angles to achieve the illusions.

Strategic poses and the use of physical objects to block part of the scene can be used to create illusions like disembodied heads, people with extra limbs, or people with really long legs or bodies.

An often-used trick for making people look tiny enough to be picked up or stepped on by another person involves forced perspective – strategic positioning the subjects so that there is physical distance between them but no visual cues to indicate just how much distance there is between them so relative sizes are difficult to gauge.

When images in this book are altered, it’s with the old-fashioned method of literally cutting and pasting them onto each other, something that is now done digitally.

Personally, I enjoyed the fact that there was less of a reliance on software and digital technology in the production of these photographs. I think that learning how to do things without relying on technology to do most of the work can encourage creativity, and in particular, the use of physical illusions like forced perspective is also educational. Artists need to understand the use of physical space, perspective, and lighting, and these photographic tricks demonstrate these concepts well. Even though this book doesn’t make use of digital photography, any of the tricks in this book could also be performed when taking pictures with a digital camera.

The book is available to borrow and read online through Internet Archive.

Posted on by TracyC

Stop the Watch

Stop! the Watch by the Editors of Klutz Press, 1993.

This book is part of the classic children’s hobby and activity series from Klutz Press. Originally, this book came with a working stopwatch in bright colors, which was attached to the book at the hole in the upper left corner. Unfortunately, I broke my stopwatch years ago, but I liked the book, and I got a new stopwatch to use with it.

The book begins with instructions for using the stopwatch and then offers various timed activities and goals for kids to reach while using the stopwatch. Most of the activities involved kids performing various simple stunts and trying to do them as fast as possible, like counting to 126 by 7s, writing a verse from The Song of Hiawatha, tying shoelaces, singing “Happy Birthday” to Rumpelstiltskin, walking up a flight of stairs with a book balanced on the head, and drawing a picture of a gorilla. There are places in the book to record your efforts and your own time records and the records of your friends. (You can see in my copy where I made notes.)

There are also activities that participants are supposed to perform for a very specific amount of time, trying to keep as close to the allotted time as possible without actually watching the watch. For example, one of the events is hollering the word “Eeeeellllllskin” for exactly 17 seconds.

There are also some events that are meant to be completed by two people acting as a team, like leapfrogging, carrying your partner ten steps, singing “Jingle Bells” while alternating words between partners, and throwing something weird back and forth.

The original edition of this book included time records set by the author and others at Klutz HQ. Readers could compete against these records and try to beat them, and later editions of the book were printed with new records set by readers who reported their results.

In the back of the book, there is a section explaining how to time daily events and predict about how much time you will spend doing those things throughout your life, like how much time you spend in the bathroom. Some of these things can be enlightening, like how much time you spend watching tv (Is it too much?), being emotionally upset (Have you been stressing too much?), or stalling when you’re supposed to be doing something else. There are also some educational ways of using time. The book explains how to tell how fast the car you’re traveling in is driving without looking at the spedometer by timing the distance between mile markers. It also explains how to tell how high you’ve tossed a ball by timing how long it takes to hit the ground.

The book is available to borrow and read online through Internet Archive.

Posted on by TracyC

The Son of the Slime Who Ate Cleveland

The Son of the Slime Who Ate Cleveland by Marjorie Weinman Sharmat, 1985.

Frank is the first to admit that he’s a bit eccentric and that his mind doesn’t quite work like other kids’. He’s a bit more imaginative, more daring. When he thinks of something, he can’t resist doing it, even pulling pranks on his best friends, Jack and Lee. He sees it as a way of expressing himself, and he wants to go into show business someday.

One day, the boys spot a jelly bean counting contest at the mall. The prize is two tickets to a move called Monster Mayhem and all the jelly beans they can eat in two hours. Frank isn’t really interested in counting contests. Jack and Lee, who have ambitions to go into law and banking, are more interested in counting things and competing with each other. Jack and Lee both come up with the exact same number of jelly beans that they think are in the jar, and they start arguing about which of them came up with the estimate first. Frank can’t decide which of them was first, so he just tells them that they’re both wrong and guesses his own random number without even trying to count the jelly beans. All three of them enter the contest.

That could have been the end of it, but Frank can’t resist telling other people about the contest. Not only does he tell them that he and his friends have entered the contest, but he tells them the exact number that Jack and Lee both guessed.

A classmate, Bianca, invites everyone to a party at her house where everyone has to come dressed as their favorite monster. Her parents are also there, dressed as Mr. and Mrs. Slime Who Ate Cleveland. Bianca’s parents are both psychologists, and they think it’s emotionally healthy for kids to expend their energies and go wild at parties, so they’re very permissive with Bianca and her friends. At the party, Bianca’s father takes an interest in Frank, calling him “son” (hence the name of the book) and telling him that he should mingle more with the other kids and be less of a loner. He offers to help Frank with vocational counseling for his future, which Frank is not eager to accept from a guy who is currently dressed as a Slime Who Ate Cleveland and who actively encourages the kids to have a potato sack race in the living room. Frank thinks an indoor potato sack race sounds crazy, Jack thinks it sounds dumb, but Lee is all for it. When Jack and Lee argue about the potato sack race, Bianca brings up the story that Frank told her earlier about the jelly bean counting contest and the boys’ argument over which of them guessed the answer first, putting it to a vote among the party guests. Lee wins the vote (which doesn’t mean much since the other party guests weren’t even there when they made their guesses), and Bianca switches her attentions from her current crush, Jack, to Lee (who doesn’t want Bianca’s attentions and becomes afraid to answer the phone when she keeps calling him).

Jack and Lee both get irritated with Frank for turning the jelly bean counting contest into a big deal and ask him to stop telling people about it because neither of them really even expects to win. However, the incident doesn’t even stop there, because it turns out that both Jack and Lee are declared the winners of the contest because their identical guesses are the closest to the real answer. The contest judges decide to award the prize jointly to the two of them – a movie ticket each and all the jelly beans that each of them could eat in an hour.

Sharing the prize could have resolved the incident, but Jack and Lee still have a competitive streak. Even though Frank congratulates them both as winners, Jack and Lee still argue about which of them is the “real” winner for coming up with the answer first. Frank tries to point out that each of them really only needs one movie ticket anyway, so what difference does it make if the other friend gets the other one? That doesn’t do any good, though. Jack and Lee both want to be acknowledged as the “real” winner, and thanks to the vote at Bianca’s party, other kids at school are taking sides to support their votes.

The entire jelly bean counting situation has gotten completely out of control! Jack and Lee won’t stop arguing with each other about who really won the contest, and both of them are mad at Frank for spreading the word about it and turning it into a bigger deal than it had to be. Frank needs to find a way to solve the argument and reconcile with his two best friends. Meanwhile, Bianca’s father, Mr. Wasserman, keeps calling Frank “son” and trying to talk to him about his vocational future, which makes Frank feel as green as the Son of the Slime Who Ate Cleveland.

Just when Frank thinks he’s got everything solved, a new contest threatens to set Jack and Lee against each other again. Frank tries one more outlandish scheme that exposes Jack and Lee’s arguments to an even wider audience than before. It takes some sincere friendship from Bianca, some words that actually make sense from her mother, and some “perfectly frank” talk from Jack and Lee to help Frank to recognize how his own behavior has contributed to the problems and how his friends really feel about some of the things he’s said and done.

The book is humorous, but Frank does develop some empathy through the course of the story, coming to a better understanding of how the people in his life really think and feel and the effects that his various pranks and stunts have had on people around him. Frank learns not just what it means to be “Perfectly Frank”, as he puts it, but what it really takes to be a sincere and honest friend. One of the best parts of the book is the banter between the various eccentric characters, from Frank’s straight-forward responses to the strange offers of advice from Bianca’s well-meaning slime monster father to the school principal’s attempts to convince Frank to take up paper clip collecting as a hobby to keep him out of trouble to the frank discussion of friendship Frank and Bianca have when Bianca asks Frank to kiss her.

The book is available to borrow and read online through Internet Archive.

Posted on by TracyC

How to Snoop in Your Sister's Diary

How to Snoop in Your Sister’s Diary by Janet Adele Bloss, 1989.

Lately, Haley has been jealous because her older sister, Lauren, has a new boyfriend and is spending all of her time with him. Haley feels neglected because Lauren doesn’t want to spend time with her any more. Haley resents the new boyfriend and worries about what Lauren and her boyfriend are doing together, so she begins regularly snoops in her sister’s diary to learn the details of Lauren’s relationship with her boyfriend.

However, Haley soon reads something shocking in her sister’s diary. Lauren might be about to do something disturbing and dangerous. But, what can Haley do about it when she wasn’t even supposed to know anything about it? If she reveals what she knows, Lauren will know about her snooping.

It turns out that Lauren already knows about the snooping and is angry with Haley about violating her privacy. Lauren isn’t actually doing anything wrong or even thinking about doing something wrong. She only wrote the shocking section in her diary to scare Haley, sort of like proving the old saying about how people who eavesdrop might hear things that they wish they wouldn’t (although the original saying is about how eavesdroppers might hear bad things about themselves). When Haley finally goes to plead with Lauren not to do what she thinks Lauren is about to do, Lauren reveals the truth, and the girls have an honest talk about what’s really been happening between them.

Personally, I didn’t think that the characters in the book acted in a very realistic manner. The main character didn’t react to certain situations in the way I would have expected, given her age. This is one of those stories which depends on characters holding things back and not communicating with each other openly for much of the story because, if they did, the story would have been resolved right away.