Stepping on the Cracks

Stepping on the Cracks by Mary Downing Hahn, 1991.

This is the first book in the Gordy Smith series, although the book really focuses on a girl named Margaret. Gordy Smith is the neighborhood bully and her nemesis. The series shifts to focus more on Gordy after the full story behind his awful behavior is revealed. This story begins in August 1944 because, although they don’t mention the year, the characters talk about seeing the story about the Liberation of Paris in Life Magazine.

Eleven-year-old Margaret and her best friend, Elizabeth, both have brothers who are fighting in World War II. Margaret’s brother is in the army in Europe, and Elizabeth’s brother is in the navy in the Pacific. The two girls have their own special ritual of stepping on the cracks in the sidewalk to “break Hitler’s back”, in a twist on the old stepping on a crack childhood superstition. Margaret knows that the war is Hitler’s fault, and she blames him personally for her brother, Jimmy, having to go away and fight and for the changes in her household since then. Since the war started and her brother went away, Margaret’s father has been very grim, and she knows that her mother sometimes cries when she thinks that Margaret can’t hear her. Her parents are happiest when they imagine what life will be like when the war finally ends. Margaret keeps a scrapbook of letters Jimmy has written to her and war-related news clippings and cartoons that she’s saved that remind her of things her brother has told her about his time in the army. Margaret hates Hitler and the Nazis with a vengeance.

At the same time, Margaret thinks about how odd it is that the war doesn’t seem entirely real. She knows that people in her community have already been killed in the war overseas, and her parents are worried about Jimmy. However, apart from the missing people in the community, like Jimmy, and the stars in people’s windows to signify people who are in the armed forces or who have been killed in battle, there are few outward signs that there is a war happening. They hear about battles, but their own town of College Hill, Maryland, is peaceful. There are some shortages of things because of war rationing, but otherwise, Margaret’s life has been continuing very much as before. She’s seen pictures of starving children in war zones, and she sometimes wonders why they suffer so much, and she doesn’t.

A neighborhood bully, Gordy Smith, gives the girls trouble, and Margaret thinks of him has being like a Nazi because he’s so mean. He calls Margaret and Elizabeth “Baby Magpie” and “Lizard”, pulls their hair, and gets his friends to gang up on them. At one point, he tries to force Elizabeth to kiss him. (One of those weirdos who are clearly interested in girls but have no idea how to be charming to girls.) Gordy brags about his brother in the army, saying that his brother has killed more Nazis than the girls’ brothers and that he’s going to join the army and kill Hitler when he’s older.

Margaret tells her mother about Gordy and says that she hates his guts. However, her mother tells her that young ladies shouldn’t say words like “guts” and that she should have some sympathy for Gordy because of the kind of family he lives in and what his father is like. (Personally, I don’t think sympathy alone is what’s called for to fix Gordy’s problems, but more about that later.) Elizabeth’s father is a policeman and has arrested Gordy’s father more than once for being drunk and disorderly. People in the community think of the Smith family as being “poor white trash” and wish they would move away. The other kids in the family are as nasty and troublesome as Gordy. Margaret doesn’t think Gordy’s family circumstances should excuse his awful behavior and still hates him.

One day in late summer, before school starts, Gordy and his two friends chase the girls out of the treehouse they built. They steal the comic books they like from the girls and rip up the ones they don’t like, tossing them from the top on the tree on top of the girls. Then, they start ripping up the boards from the platform in the tree so they can use them themselves, saying that girls can’t build anything well. It takes much less time and effort for them to destroy what the girls built than it did for the girls to build it. (This is always true of any kind of destruction, so that doesn’t mean anything complimentary about the destroyers, especially if they aren’t smart enough to realize that and think they’ve got some kind of special talent that’s better than building abilities – just saying because it’s true. All this stuff from the boys is just bluster and gaslighting to intimidate the girls into letting them have what they want by implying that they never deserved the things they actually owned and built themselves.) Margaret yells for help from her mother, but her mother doesn’t hear her. Elizabeth tells the boys that their act of sabotage makes them traitors and worse than Nazis, but they laugh it off.

Elizabeth tells Margaret that they’ll get even with Gordy and the other boys for this, but Margaret can’t imagine what they could do. She would rather stay away from Gordy. That’s easier said than done because Gordy steals the next set of boards the girls try to use to rebuild their tree house, too. One day, the girls see the boys going into the woods. They know that the boys have built a hut to use as a clubhouse with the boards they’ve stolen from the girls, and Elizabeth suggests that they follow the boys to find out where their hut is. Elizabeth thinks that it would be great revenge to find their hut, take it apart, and reclaim the stolen boards. After all, they have a right to their own boards. Margaret is more hesitant because they’re not supposed to cross the train tracks into the woods, and the woods are lonely. The boys have air rifles, and if the boys caught the girls trying to take back the boards, they could do all sorts of horrible things to them with no one around to save them. However, Elizabeth impulsively dashes off into the woods, and Margaret feels like she has no choice but to go with her.

The boys catch the girls spying on them at their hideout when Margaret accidentally sneezes. At first, Margaret is sure that the boys are going to kill them when they catch them. Instead, Gordy tries to scare the girls with a story about how he and his friends have actually saved the girls from the crazy man who lives in the woods. There’s an experimental farm near the woods used by the agricultural department at the local university, and Gordy spins a story about how the army was using the farm for an experiment on soldiers, using chemicals to try to make them stronger and braver. Gordy insists that the man they used in the experiment went crazy and broke out of the farm and has been hiding in the woods ever since, ready to attack anybody who finds him. Elizabeth says the story is a fake because she never heard anyone else say that, but Gordy insists that he saw the crazy man standing behind the girls with a knife. Gordy tells the girls that they better stay out of the woods or the crazy man might get them next time.

Elizabeth knows that Gordy must be lying, but Margaret is sure that the story must be true when she sees a wild-looking man with shaggy hair behind the boys in the woods. Margaret screams and runs for home with Elizabeth behind her. Unfortunately, Elizabeth didn’t see the wild-looking man herself. She thinks that Margaret was just being a chicken, falling for Gordy’s story and imagining that she saw something, and she teases Margaret about it. Margaret asks her mother about the experimental farm and Gordy’s story, without admitting that she was in the woods, and her mother says that it’s nonsense, that the farm is only used for agriculture. Her mother thinks that, if there is a strange man in the woods, it’s probably just some old tramp.

It does seem like a logical explanation, that maybe there was just some old tramp hanging around the woods who didn’t know that Gordy was going to tell some wild story about a murderous crazy man and just happened to wander by at the right moment to look scary. However, Margaret just can’t convince herself that’s all there is to it.

When the girls finally get up the nerve to go back to the boys’ hut, there are unmistakable signs that someone has been living there. There is also a knife, like the one Gordy said the crazy man had. Who is staying in the boys’ hut, and what are the boys really hiding?

My Reaction and Spoilers

I mostly think of Mary Downing Hahn for her ghost stories, like Wait Till Helen Comes and The Doll in the Garden, but this was actually the first book that I ever read by this author. I think I read it when I was in elementary or middle school. Because of some of the serious subjects of the book and some of the language used, this isn’t a book for young kids. It’s probably best for middle school.

America in the 1940s

This book is a realistic portrayal of life on the American home front during the war. I enjoyed the mentions of little things that were common in 1940s America, like the popular radio programs that people liked to listen to (like the Lone Ranger, the mystery horror show Inner Sanctum, and the children’s program Let’s Pretend), comic books and newspaper cartoons, magazines like Life and The Saturday Evening Post, and “Kilroy was here” graffiti. Sometimes, characters mention 1940s celebrities. After Gordy tries to make Elizabeth kiss him, she tells Margaret that a star like Joan Crawford would slap any guy who got “fresh” with her. Later, the girls overhear the boys talking about which pin-up girls they think are the most sexy, mentioning Betty Grable and Rita Hayworth.

Note: The boys’ “sexy” talk is at a realistically juvenile level, laughing over pictures of pin-up girls with big breasts and using the word “hubba-hubba.” An adult hearing a conversation like this knows that the boys probably feel grown-up for secretly smoking cigarettes at their hideout while talking about sexy women, but at the same time, they plainly sound like little boys who use words like “hubba-hubba” because that’s as sophisticated as they know how to be. They have nothing else to say on this subject. As Elizabeth and Margaret could attest, these boys have never successfully kissed a girl at this point in their lives because they’ve been making themselves unappealing to the girls in their vicinity by the mean and obnoxious ways they act. When the girls later go inside the boys’ hut, they see that the boys have defaced their pin-up pictures by giving all the girls beards and blackened teeth. They are definitely not young Casanovas.

This was the first book that introduced me to the concept of putting banners with stars in the window as a sign that someone in the family is in the armed forces. A blue star indicated (and still indicates) a living service member or veteran. A gold star means that the service member died in action. That’s important to the story because, even at the beginning of the book, Margaret knows what the blue stars and gold stars mean, and she already knows people in her community who were killed in the war. One of the people in the community who has died in the war was a young man called Butch who was killed only months after he got married. His widow, Barbara, gave birth to their son after his death, so Butch never saw him. Margaret is sad when she thinks about Butch and his family because she can remember when Butch was a local hero as quarterback on the high school football team. Later, Margaret’s brother, Jimmy, is also killed in the war, and the family replaces his blue star with a gold one, while Elizabeth’s family still has a blue star because Elizabeth’s brother, Joe, is still alive.

Danger and Safety

There are a lot of themes about safety and danger in the story, both real and perceived. When Margaret thinks about the crazy man Gordy says is living in the woods, she thinks that she would feel safer if Jimmy was home because Jimmy would protect her. Yet, when she thinks about Butch getting killed, Margaret realizes that, when big, strong, young men can be suddenly killed, nobody is ever really safe. Even the strongest men she knows are not completely invulnerable, and there are big, frightening, unpredictable things happening in the world.

At one point in the story, the girls talk about what they would do if girls were sent away to war like their brothers. Elizabeth brags about how brave she would be, but Margaret freely admits that she’s a coward and everyone knows it. Margaret imagines that, if she were out on a battlefield, she would probably drop to the ground and play dead until it was all over.

Later, when the girls learn the truth about Gordy, it brings the full realities of the war home to them and challenges everything that Elizabeth thinks about bravery and cowardice. The truth is that Gordy built the hut to hide his brother, Stuart. While one of Gordy’s brothers really did become a soldier and Gordy brags about him, Stuart became an army deserter. When Elizabeth finds out, she’s furious because her brother and Margaret’s are risking their lives, and she thinks that Stuart is a coward, letting others die for him and their country because he’s too afraid to fight. However, when the girls confront Stuart, Gordy, and the other boys about the situation, they learn that it’s more complicated than that. It takes Elizabeth longer to see how complicated the situation really is, but Margaret understands when Stuart describes his feelings.

Stuart is a pacifist. He’s not a coward or a Nazi sympathizer, as Elizabeth first accuses him. His logic is that two wrongs don’t make a right. While Hitler might want to take over the world and send people out to kill others, Stuart knows that the men who get sent away to be soldiers mostly don’t want to be soldiers at all and have no real desire to kill anyone else. If they had their choice, they would just be living their own lives and minding their own business at home. His speech makes Margaret really think for the first time about the war from the point of view of the soldiers on the ground. When her brother was drafted, Margaret never asked him how he felt about going away to war, just assuming that he’d want to defend his country and beat the Nazis. Now, she regrets not asking him about his feelings and wonders if he was scared or if he went reluctantly. For the first time, she also has to confront the reality that her brother has been actively killing or helping to kill other people. Stuart deserted because he simply couldn’t face the prospect of killing someone. He shows the girls a letter he got from their other brother, Donald, the one who became a soldier, telling him how horrible the war is and how they’ve sometimes killed civilians and even allies because of mistakes they’ve made. Stuart also introduces the girls to the poem The Man He Killed by Thomas Hardy. Margaret wonders how Jimmy felt about the idea of killing other people and if it’s really sane to be okay with the idea of killing. Margaret has always looked up to her older brother, seeing him as a protector, never thinking of him as a killer, but yet, he is actively engaging in killing. He doesn’t tell Margaret that part of things in his letters to her, but she realizes that’s what actually happening in Europe.

Finding out about Stuart creates a real problem for the girls. Because army desertion is illegal, the girls know they should tell someone about Stuart, but Gordy tells them that the hard reality is that deserters either get arrested or shot. If they report Stuart, they could be sending him to his death. Elizabeth, being the more brash and hard-hearted one, says that she doesn’t care because it would be no more than what he deserves (although she later takes that back). Instead, she settles for blackmailing Gordy and his friends into stopping their bullying of the girls and helping them rebuild their tree house.

However, the kids soon realize that Stuart can’t stay their secret forever. Stuart has gotten sick, and if he doesn’t get help, he could just die in the woods. Stuart was hoping that the war might just end, and people would stop caring about whether he’d joined the army or deserted, but nobody in 1944 knows when that’s going to happen. From their perspective, it could be months (close to the reality) or years. The war has been going on for years already. Stuart won’t survive in the woods for that long.

The kids also confront the reality that, while two wrongs don’t make a right when it comes to fighting, just standing back and doing nothing while other people are doing wrong is also wrong. Elizabeth is the first of the children to point out that the entire reason why desertion is illegal is that, if everyone just decided to opt out of fighting, people like Hitler would run overrun everyone because no one would put up a resistance. Leaving aside what the characters decide to do about Stuart for the moment, that brings me to the problems with Gordy and the people who should be responsible for him and aren’t.

Gordy’s Problems

I’m frequently the first to say, as Margaret does in the story, that just coming from a bad background shouldn’t allow a person to get a free pass on being a bully themselves. Two wrongs really don’t make a right, and to my way of thinking, people who bully others because they’ve been bullied themselves are bad because they’re doing to completely innocent people what they already know they hate being done to themselves. However, unlike what Margaret’s mother said earlier about how she wishes Margaret would have more sympathy for Gordy, I quickly realized that, first, sympathy is insufficient in situations like this, and second, Margaret’s mother is not really motivated by sympathy for Gordy. She has other, less admirable reasons for looking the other way, even when she knows exactly what’s going on in Gordy’s family and that he is actively abusing her own daughter.

Gordy frequently gets away with his bullying because people are afraid of both him and his father. On the way to school, when Gordy rips up Elizabeth’s homework and stomps on her school supplies to break them, and the crossing guards see it happen. However, even though it’s part of their duty to report things like this, they don’t want to do it. When Elizabeth asks them if they’re going to report it to their teacher, they make excuses about how that might be tattling and make their teacher mad and how it would be just their word against Gordy’s (ignoring the evidence of the ripped papers and broken school supplies). The reality is that they’re afraid of Gordy doing something to them in revenge. Elizabeth asks them if that means that she’s just going to have to suffer what Gordy does to her while Gordy gets away with it because they’re too afraid to said anything. The crossing guards are further afraid to give her a straight answer because everyone involved knows that the answer is, yes, that’s exactly what’s going to happen, and that’s exactly the reason why it’s going to happen. The crossing guards know that Gordy is going to continue being an abusive bully, and they know they’re going to let him do it without saying a word, and they know the reason why they’re going to do that is because they are scared. They’re not willing to put themselves on the line to protect Elizabeth even though that is a part of their job. Elizabeth, knowing all of this, tells them they’re cowards, and it’s the truth. Unfortunately, there are times when apparent cowardice can also be necessary self-preservation from a greater insanity, and much as I hate to admit it, this might be one of those situations.

There is the underlying problem in this community, and that’s the behavior of the adults. Part of the reason why the young crossing guards are so cowardly about the class bully is that they know darn well that no adult in their community is likely to act on anything they tell them about Gordy. Even if their teacher punishes Gordy temporarily by suspending him from school, Gordy will come back, mean and horrible as ever, with revenge on his mind. No adult is going to get to the real root of Gordy’s problems and solve them, so Gordy will continue to be a problem. It appears to be common knowledge in the community that Gordy’s father is an abusive drunk. Elizabeth and Margaret know it, and I think his teacher probably knows it, too. Gordy comes to school with a black eye. Barbara talks about it with the girls, saying that Stuart used to help protect Gordy from the worst of his father’s abuse and that Gordy needs someone to take care of him. Nobody can avoid knowing that the Smiths are an extremely troubled family. After Margaret and Elizabeth go to Gordy’s house to find him and witness Gordy’s father’s behavior for themselves, Margaret tries to talk to her mother about it, and her mother just says that what people do in their own houses is their business and they can’t interfere. That, right there, is part of the root of Gordy’s problems. The first root is his father’s drunken abuse, the second root is knowing that the adults in his community are aware of the situation and are deliberately looking the other way, and the third root are his own choices that prevent other people from getting close enough to help.

For the moment, I’d like to focus on Margaret’s mother and her non-interference policy when it comes to child abuse. A major part of the reason why Gordy continues to be abused by his father and why Gordy is able continue bullying and abusing other kids is exactly this policy of looking the other way. I think all of the adults in this community feel similarly, and I think a major part of the reason they do it is because the adults are scared of Gordy’s father and what he might do to them. Letting him beat his wife and children probably doesn’t feel great, but these adults excuse themselves for allowing that to repeatedly happen with their full knowledge by saying out loud that it’s none of their business while quietly thinking that letting a kid be beaten is better than being beaten or killed by this crazy man themselves. Apart from occasionally arresting Mr. Smith for getting publicly drunk and disorderly, after which he is released when he sobers up, nobody in the community, not even Elizabeth’s police officer father, does anything. The kids are the most active characters in the story, and the adults, like Margaret’s mother, want to shut them down from talking about it so they won’t have to feel like they should be doing something when they’re not. It doesn’t make the problem go away, but it does allow the adults to lie to themselves and pretend like it’s not a problem that they will have to deal with eventually, which is almost the same in the adults’ minds.

It is fitting that this is a World War II story because the situation with Gordy has parallels within the war itself. The United States initially didn’t want to become involved with the war because they saw what Hitler was doing as a European matter. People in the US didn’t want to become involved in the war because they knew it would mean risking their lives, and it wasn’t something they wanted to do if it wasn’t their problem and if it could be resolved without them. Self-preservation is a sign of sanity, but the problem with that mindset is that it doesn’t take into account the larger picture and the full, hard realities of the situations. Sometimes, even when you don’t go looking for trouble, trouble can come looking for you. The US wasn’t officially involved in the war effort except as a supplier until Pearl Harbor. That attack on the US naval fleet brought it home to the American public that it didn’t matter whether they wanted to be involved or not if another country decided to actively involve them.

It’s a similar situation with Gordy. Nobody wants Gordy to bully them, but he does it anyway. It doesn’t matter if the girls are in their own tree house in Margaret’s front yard, minding their own business; Gordy comes after them to destroy the tree house and steal the boards. Margaret’s parents know what happened, but they do nothing. All through the book, Margaret has times when she feels unsafe, but her parents don’t protect her from the closest and most obvious dangers, even when she tells her mother about them. Margaret’s parents don’t protect her because they are scared themselves and don’t want to get involved, even though they are already involved because it’s their daughter being abused … not unlike a deserter who flees the army to avoid fighting when his country is attacked.

Margaret would be the first to admit that she’s not the bravest person around, but yet, she is braver than many others around her because she can and will take action even when she’s scared. For most of the book, Margaret only gets into scrapes when she’s goaded into them by Elizabeth, but even Elizabeth observes that Margaret follows through once she starts something or sees that something needs to be done. The adults in the community can’t say the same. The abuse going on in the Smith household hasn’t stayed privately in the Smith household at all. It’s gone out into the community through Gordy and the other Smith children. It’s a public matter because Mr. Smith is repeatedly drunk and disorderly and intimidating to every adult in the community. It’s everyone’s business because everyone is suffering the results. However, the adults find it easier to keep telling themselves that they don’t need to do anything about it because they can’t deal with the discomfort that would come from a professional community intervention (or tell themselves they can’t deal with it, which isn’t quite the same thing), which is the one and only thing that could probably save the Smith family at this point, and by extension, everyone who’s been suffering from the second-hand bullying and abuse delivered by Gordy. While one person alone would genuinely be in danger from standing up to Gordy’s father, a concerted community effort including the police, local medical professionals, and the principal and teachers from the school showing a united front would be a safer and saner option. There is safety in numbers, provided that the “numbers” can get up the nerve to join the numbers.

I think Gordy should be held accountable for the things he’s done, and I think some reasonable adult should also point out to him that he’s been a fool to cultivate enemies instead of allies. Although Margaret and Elizabeth eventually become his allies for this adventure, sympathetic to the abuse that Gordy has suffered and to Stuart’s situation, if he had been nicer to them from the beginning, he would have gotten help for himself and his brother much sooner. Gordy is bitter toward other people in the community because he’s fully aware that they all refer to him and his family as “white trash”, although I think he should also be aware that it’s their behavior that causes people to look at them that way. Gordy himself has partly caused and perpetuated that image because of everything he does on a daily basis. While Gordy can’t help that his father is an abusive drunk, he can help being a bully himself, and as long as he acts like that, people will treat him as the bully he is and try to avoid him rather than give him the help he really needs. His father is his worst enemy, the adults in this town are largely useless, and Gordy is not only hurting others but sabotaging himself. Even when the girls try to help Gordy, they find it hard because he’s still mean to them and fights them every step of the way.

One final note I have is to point out that, while I’ve heard many kinds of insults and racial slurs in my life, the term “white trash” is possibly the only term I know that’s both an insulting slur to the people it’s used against and to an entire group of people who aren’t explicitly mention in the slur at the exact same time. That didn’t occur to me when I was a kid, but as an adult, I realize now the reason why the modifier “white” is added to the insult. The modifier implies a comparison. The implication is that the person using the term thinks that non-white people are “trash”, and they’re telling another white person that they’re also a kind of “trash” like that, as bad or maybe worse because, as a white person, they should be able to help their situation but aren’t helping themselves because they’re somehow inferior. It’s true that Gordy and others in his family haven’t been helping matters because they make it difficult for other people to help them, but it’s still a very weird dual insult.

The Midwife’s Apprentice

The Midwife’s Apprentice by Karen Cushman, 1995.

The story focuses on a young girl in Medieval England. She is about twelve or thirteen years old, but she doesn’t know her age or even her real name. Everyone just calls her Brat. For as long as she remembers, she’s always been alone, a homeless orphan traveling and begging from town to town. When a midwife finds her sleeping in a dung heap, she takes the girl on as a servant and apprentice. It isn’t as a kindness. The midwife just realizes that she can get some cheap labor out of the girl as long as she feeds her. Also, because the girl isn’t very bright or experienced, she is no professional competition for the midwife. People begin calling the girl Beetle because she was in the dung heap like dung beetle.

The midwife, Jane, became a midwife because she had six children of her own, although none of them survived. Beetle wonders if she could be a witch because of her strange mixtures, but really, she’s just a midwife. Whenever a woman in the area gives birth, Beetle goes to help carry things for Jane. Beetle is not allowed to watch the births herself, just stand by to fetch and carry. Beetle realizes that part of the reason she is not allowed to watch the births is so Jane can keep her professional secrets, although Beetle soon begins learning about plants and how to make medicines from them and she sometimes spies on births when she can to learn more.

People in town aren’t nice to Beetle. Jane is stingy and never helps anyone who can’t pay her fee. The local people don’t like her, but they tolerate her because they have need of her skills. Beetle often has to deal with the anger that people are afraid to show to Jane. Beetle’s best friend is a cat who was nearly killed by some mean local boys. She talks to the cat. Both of them are abused by locals, especially the mean boys.

Then, Beetle begins to notice that Jane keeps slipping away on mysterious errands, giving excuses for her absence that make no sense. Beetle begins to follow Jane to find out what she is doing. What Beetle learns is that Jane is having a love affair with a married baker.

One day, the miller comes looking for the midwife, but she isn’t home. Desperate for help with his wife’s birth, the miller makes Beetle come with him. Beetle doesn’t know what to do, and the miller’s wife angrily throws things at her until Jane comes to take over. Jane insults and abuses Beetle, too.

It seems like taking abuse is Beetle’s lot in life and that she has to take it or be thrown out into the street again. Her life starts to change when a kind merchant at a fair compliments her curls and gives her a wooden come with a cat carved on it. Then, another man mistakes her for a girl named Alice who can read. Beetle begins to look at herself in a new light. She realizes that at least some people see her as a person who can be pretty and smart, and maybe, she really can be pretty and smart. Liking the name Alice, Beetle decides that she will take the name for herself so she can gave a proper name.

When she returns to the midwife and the midwife abuses and insults her again, Beetle confidently tells her that her name isn’t dung beetle or brat but Alice. The midwife isn’t impressed and even people in town laugh at her for it, but Alice retains her new sense of confidence. She gives the cat a name, too, calling him Purr.

Without Jane realizing just how much Alice has been learning, Alice gradually begins helping people on her own. After saving the life of one of the local bullies, who almost drowned while chasing her, the boy starts treating Alice better. When his cow is having a difficult birth, the boy gets Alice to help him tend to the cow, increasing her knowledge of births.

Then, during one very difficult human birth, Jane leaves Alice to tend to the woman alone while she goes to tend to the lady of the manor, who is also giving birth. Alice protests that she doesn’t know what to do and can’t manage on her own, but Jane tells her she doesn’t have to do anything because this baby is likely to die. Jane just wants Alice to stay to cover for her so she can go earn another, even better fee. However, to everyone’s surprise, Alice saves the baby in Jane’s absence by applying what she has learned so far. The grateful mother names the baby after Alice, and the father refuses to let Jane take credit for Alice’s work. Jane is angry and jealous, especially when another mother insists that she wants Alice and not Jane to tend to her during her birth. Jane throws a fit and accuses Alice of stealing her customers.

Unfortunately, that birth doesn’t go well, and Jane has to step in to help and save the baby. In despair at what she sees as her failure, Alice runs away, convinced that she is just a nobody and too stupid to be anything, even a midwife’s apprentice.

At first, she wants to give up and die, but with the company of Purr the cat, she finds her way to an inn where she finds work. It’s enough to keep her alive, but Alice finds it difficult to shake her feeling that she is nothing and will never be anything. Alice really misses her work with the midwife, although not really the midwife herself, but she has trouble getting over the sense that she is just a failure. It takes a few lessons in reading from a scholar staying at the inn, the realization that she has been a help to someone else in a difficult situation, the encouragement of the boy who was one of her former bullies, and even some surprising comments from Jane the midwife herself to help Alice realize what she needs to do.

The book is available to borrow and read for free online through Internet Archive (multiple copies).

My Reaction

I found this story stressful because there were so many mean people in it. I hated the casual cruelty of the local boys and how they almost killed the cat. I hated Jane, who used and abused a vulnerable orphan girl. I also hated the townspeople in general because this seems to be entirely a town of people who are looking to use and abuse anybody they can and who will also allow other people to abuse the vulnerable, both human and animal, if they can use the abuser for their purposes. For much of the book, I looked for a character other than our heroine with some redeeming quality of some kind and didn’t find one.

The first character I actually liked was the kind merchant who gave Beetle/Alice the comb, but I still felt like the town is the town of the damned because nobody there was really nice. Almost every interaction Alice has with anybody there is unpleasant to some degree until she does something to buy their goodwill or at least civility. The innkeepers are nicer to Alice, although she knows that they’re not entirely honest in the way they run the inn. The scholar was one of my favorite characters because he sees Alice’s potential and gives her lessons in reading by first explaining things to her cat to get her interested. His kindness didn’t need to be bought with anything. The scholar is also the first person who cares about what Alice wants out of life and gets her to consider what she really wants, which builds her confidence and her feeling that she is a real person with wants that matter.

William became nicer after Alice saved his life, which is a kind of cliche in stories about bullies and is still a form of being bought. He’s still not completely nice after that, although he does teach Alice a couple of useful lessons, and he tells Alice that he doesn’t think that she’s a failure as a midwife just because she didn’t know everything and still needed some help. Even better, he points out that Jane doesn’t really know everything, either; she just acts like she does.

I never grew to like Jane. When Alice overhears Jane talking about her, Jane actually says that Alice is bright, which is a surprising compliment, given all of the insults and abuse she constantly heaped on her and her fear and resentment that Alice might steal her customers. Jane doesn’t regard Alice as a failure for not being able to handle a birth on her own, but she says that Alice gives up too easily. She wants an apprentice who is willing to take everything she heaps on her and won’t give up, no matter what. While persistence is an important quality, I was angry with this character for trying to wrap up her own abuse nicely like it was all part of some important, intentional lesson. Jane never had any notion of turning Alice into a fully-trained midwife. She more wanted a cheap drudge than an honest apprentice to learn her craft. In fact, she actively tried to avoid telling Alice much because she was always afraid of training a competitor. Jane wasn’t trying to teach Alice to persevere at any point before she said that. She wasn’t trying to teach her any more of anything than she absolutely had to in order to get the cheap labor she wanted! Her attempt to wrap this whole mess up neatly like a PSA just didn’t work for me because she’s nothing but an abusive employer who screams and throws pots and doesn’t actually want her “apprentice” to progress enough to do as well or better than she does. While Alice does return to be her apprentice because she knows that she really does want to be a midwife and that there are still things she can learn from Jane, including the value of persistence, I still hope that Alice will eventually leave Jane and find a better community to exercise her skills and employers and clients who are better behaved, more appreciative, and generally less toxic and abusive.

Because of the content of this book, it is not for young children. It would be best for tweens and teens.

Meet Felicity

American Girls

MeetFelicity

Meet Felicity by Valerie Tripp, 1991.

MeetFelicityPennyThis is the first book in the Felicity, An American Girl series.

Felicity, or Lissie as her family sometimes call her, is the daughter of a prominent store owner in Williamsburg, Virginia in 1774.  Sometimes, her father allows her to help in the shop, which is something that she enjoys.  However, that has happened less since her father took on a new apprentice named Ben Davidson.  Ben is fairly quiet and shy, and Felicity is only just getting to know him.  She sometimes envies boys for the more exciting opportunities they have while she has to help with more routine chores, like sewing, at home.

One thing that Felicity loves more than anything else is horses.  One day, she goes with Ben while he makes a delivery to Jiggy Nye, the tanner.  Jiggy Nye has a new horse that he says he won at gambling.  However, Jiggy Nye is cruel to any animal he gets, and Felicity fears for the beautiful horse he now has.  When Felicity tries to see the horse, which she calls Penny because of the color of its coat, Jiggy Nye drives her away.

That the horse is a fine animal and that Jiggy Nye is treating it badly are obvious, but at first, there doesn’t seem to be anything that Felicity can do about it.  Then, Jiggy Nye shouts at the horse one day that it’s worthless because he can’t handle it and that he’d give it to anyone who can ride it.  Taking Jiggy Nye at his word, Felicity sets out to tame Penny.

MeetFelicityRidingEvery morning for about a month, Felicity sneaks out of the house early, dressed in a pair of breeches that she borrowed from Ben without his permission.  She goes to visit Penny and gradually gains her trust.  When Penny finally allows her to ride her, Felicity thinks that she has won ownership of her, but Jiggy Nye accuses her of theft and takes back the horse.  He denies that he ever promised to give her to anyone who could ride her, although Felicity’s younger siblings agree that they heard him say so.

Felicity fears more than ever that Jiggy Nye will kill Penny, but now that she no longer has a chance of getting her from Jiggy Nye for herself, can she find another way to give Penny her freedom?

There is a section in the back of the book that describes life in Colonial America, particularly in Williamsburg, Virginia.  It also mentions the Colonial Williamsburg living history museum.  Another book about life in Colonial Williamsburg, with photographs from the living history museum, is Mary Geddy’s Day.

This book is currently available online through Internet Archive.

Baby-Sitting Is a Dangerous Job

Baby-Sitting Is a Dangerous Job by Willo Davis Roberts, 1987.

Thirteen-year-old Darcy knows that babysitting the Foster kids isn’t going to be easy. Jeremy, Melissa, and Shana Foster are young children and rather spoiled. Their parents are wealthy, but they don’t spend much time with their children. When Darcy babysits them, the children go off in different directions and do things they know they aren’t supposed to do.

On top of that, Darcy is worried that someone will figure out that she and her friend Irene have been helping to hide their friend Diana, who ran away from home because her father was beating her. Diana is afraid to go to the police because her sister tried to tell them about their father’s abusive behavior, and no one believed her. She thinks that the police will just take her home and her father will beat her again.

One day, while Darcy is babysitting the Foster kids, some men break into the house and kidnap them all for ransom. Darcy feels guilty for not preventing the kidnapping, but she’s determined to make sure that she and the kids make it home safely to their parents.  When the kidnappers make a slip that allows Darcy to discover their true identity, she must come up with a daring plan to save herself and the children, who turn out to be surprisingly resourceful themselves.

The book is available to borrow and read for free online through Internet Archive.

My Reaction

I enjoyed this book! The Foster kids start out being nightmares to babysit because they’re badly behaved, but Darcy can tell that their bad behavior is because they’re neglected. They act out for attention and because their parents haven’t paid enough attention to them to teach them about boundaries and how to behave. On the outside, it might seem like the Foster kids are fortunate because their family has money, but when Darcy starts babysitting for them, she can see that their lives aren’t really as great as they seem. However, the kids do turn out to be clever and resourceful, and they really help Darcy when they’re all in danger.

There is an element of mystery to the story about who has kidnapped the children. Part of what makes their situation dangerous is that Darcy actually knows their kidnappers, and when they realize that she has recognized them, Darcy fears that they will try to eliminate her and possibly the young children, to avoid being identified to the police.