Posted on by TracyC

Scared Stiff

Scared Stiff by Jahnna N. Malcolm, 1991.

Kelly Anderson and her brother Chace rarely have visitors to their house because their parents are morticians, and there is no way to even get to the children’s bedrooms without passing a dead body somewhere because the family home is the mortuary. Their house is a big, old mansion in Maryland with the mortuary on the ground floor and the family quarters above. The kids’ parents say that it’s traditional for morticians to live at the mortuary, but Kelly still thinks that it’s creepy, even though she’s been around it her whole life. She also hates it that she always has to be quiet because there might be a viewing or funeral going on. When she was little, she was always afraid that they would accidentally bury someone who was still alive. However, her brother thinks living in a mortuary is kind of cool and makes jokes about it, saying that his parents are “professional boxers” and that they live in a “body shop.”

One evening, Kelly’s parents go out to a Chamber of Commerce banquet, leaving Kelly and her brother home alone with Chace’s friend, Matt. Before her parents leave, her mother says that she’s ordered pizza for them and suggests that Kelly go down to the video shop and rent a movie. She says that Kelly can also invite a friend over, if she wants, and Kelly complains that no girls she knows want to hang out in a mortuary. In fact, kids have been teasing her mercilessly and telling her that she and her family are gross and creepy. Chace just makes jokes about these comments, but they really bother Kelly. It bothers her even more that her best friend seems to be siding with other people who keep telling her not to take it seriously, especially now that she’s dating one of Kelly’s tormentors. (Yeah, it usually is the people dishing it out who want everyone to just be cool about everything they inflict on someone else. Insert eye roll here.) Kelly just wants someone to care about her feelings.

On the other hand, some of Chace’s friend’s are morbidly fascinated by what happens at the mortuary. Chace has been giving them tours of the embalming room where they prepare bodies for burial without his parents’ knowledge or permission. Chace says that the appeal for his friends is that they like to be scared. His friends are always afraid that a dead body will come to life, so Chace likes to grab his friends’ necks so they feel like the dead body was reaching for them. Then, they get scared and run away. It thrills Chace’s friends every time, although Chace says it’s all starting to feel a little routine. The kids’ parents would punish Chace if they knew what he was up to.

Before Matt comes over, he calls Chace and asks if any new dead bodies have arrived at the mortuary. Chace promises him that, if there’s no dead body to see, they can still look at the coffins. Kelly tells Chace that, for about the last month, she’s been having some premonitions that something bad is going to happen, but she’s not sure what it is. Her premonitions start getting worse when a sudden storm comes in.

At first, Matt’s visit seems pretty normal. The kids eat the pizza (which the pizza delivery guy just flung at the door because even pizza delivery guys are afraid of the mortuary), and the boys start playing video games. Then, Kelly hears that their mother’s grandfather clock chimes the wrong number downstairs. The clock is an antique, and it does that sometimes. Chace doesn’t want to go downstairs and fix the clock because he’s playing a game. Kelly is nervous about going downstairs because the mortuary gives her the creeps, but she doesn’t want to admit that she’s nervous in front of Matt, so she goes to fix the clock anyway. While she’s fixing the clock, she gets the odd feeling that there’s a dead body in the building even though Chace had told her that they didn’t have any “customers” that day. When she takes a look in the chapel, she sees that her parents have left a red light on by the door to the embalming room, which is the signal that there’s a body there.

When Kelly goes back upstairs, she asks Chace why he said that there was no body when there is. Chace says that the light was off earlier, and the three kids go downstairs to check. The light is definitely on, and Chace says that he must have made a mistake before. He’s surprised because their dad usually tells them when a body has arrived, and he didn’t this time. Matt asks them what their parents do with the bodies, and the kids describe the process of preparing a body for burial. Matt asks if he can see the body because he’s never seen one before. Kelly says that the boys shouldn’t go in there because it’s against the law for anyone but a licensed mortician to be in there, and also the body might be in a really bad condition if it’s been in an accident. Matt thinks that just makes it sound even more cool. Chace hesitates because, while he doesn’t usually mind giving his friends secret tours, he’s starting to get an odd feeling from the situation. Things aren’t like they usually are, and he’s starting to share Kelly’s premonition.

However, Matt insists that he wants to see the see the body, so Chace says that they’ll just take a quick look. Kelly goes upstairs and locks herself in her room, and the boys go in the embalming room. Although Kelly tells most of the story, she says that Chace told her later what they saw. There is a body on one of the tables in the embalming room, covered by a sheet. The feet sticking out from the sheet have ugly yellow toenails, and the toe tag says “J. L. Torbett.” Matt asks if he can see the face of the body. Both of the boys are nervous about moving the sheet because Chace still has an odd feeling, but Chace finally pulls back the sheet. J. L. Torbett turns out to be an old man with white hair, who is oddly wearing an orange jumpsuit. Chace’s odd feeling grows when he realizes that his father hasn’t even started to work on this body. He usually starts prepping bodies immediately upon arrival. Then, the body moans. At first, Chace tells Matt not to panic because it’s probably just air escaping from the body, and that happens with dead people. (That’s true. It is probably one of the factors of human decomposition that led to stories of vampires and other undead creatures. But, this is a scary story.) Then, the body sits up on the table, and Matt screams and runs. Chace hesitates for a moment, thinking that it might just be an odd nerve impulse that caused the body to sit up, but then, its head turns toward Chace, it opens its yellow eyes to look at him, and it starts reaching for him. Chace faints.

When Matt and Kelly come to find Chace, they find him on the floor of the embalming room, disoriented, and the old guy in the jumpsuit is standing in the middle of the room, swaying like he’s trying to get his balance. Kelly demands that the guy tell them who he is and what he’s doing in there. The boys tell her that he’s the corpse, but she says that’s impossible because he’s up and walking. The kids are terrified, but the man prevents them from leaving. The kids tell him that he’s in a mortuary and he’s supposed to be dead. The man is confused because he just remembers going to sleep in his cell and waking up there. The kids realize that he must be a criminal, but the man insists that he’s not. He asks the kids what day it is, and they say that it’s Friday, November 13. (Yep, Friday the 13th!)

That date excites Torbett. He says that he has spent 50 years in prison for a murder he didn’t commit, and the day has come to take his revenge by killing the people who sent him there. Of the twelve jurors, one is still alive, and so is the judge and a key witness. The kids realize that Torbett is talking about murdering three people. They also realize that, when he smashes some bottles in his agitation, he cuts his hand … and it doesn’t bleed. The kids try to run away, and Torbett grabs Kelly. Kelly realizes that his skin is cold and his eyes are lifeless. Torbett really is a walking dead man, brought back to life by his intense need for revenge. The kids struggle with Torbett, and Torbett runs out of the room, looking the children inside.

However, the embalming room has a telephone. Kelly remembers that her friend, Gretchen, is babysitting at the house where the old judge lives, and she wants to call her and warn her, but Matt says that they need the police and calls 911. Unfortunately, when the kids try to explain what the problem is, the operator doesn’t believe them and thinks its a prank. Kelly gets angry with the 911 operator, hangs up, and calls Gretchen, but the phone line at the house is busy. Matt says that, weirdly, the embalming room is probably the safest place for them to be because it’s the last place Torbett will want to return to, but that doesn’t help much. Torbett is still out to kill people, and if and when he does come back, the kids are trapped. What are they going to do?

The book is available to borrow and read for free online through Internet Archive.

My Reaction

I’ve been looking for this book for awhile because I remember reading it when I was a kid in elementary school. Actually, that kind of amazes me now because I’ve always been easily spooked, and I’m still kind of surprised that I read this and remembered liking it. I was also easily grossed out as a kid, and I still am, so, while I think that it’s really interesting that the author included some real details about the morticians’ professions, I have to admit that I still find it gross. There are reasons why I got a ‘C’ in health class in high school and declared myself to be a conscientious objector about dissection and did reports instead. I’m very squeamish.

Feeling the way I do about these things, I can’t remember why I decided to read this book when I was a kid, but I know why I finished it. The book is well-written, and once you become involved with the characters’ situation, it’s compelling to keep reading and find out what happens. Actually, the only parts of the story that I remembered before I re-read it where the very beginning and the very end.

The kids manage to break out of the embalming room and try to help the people that Torbett said that he would go after. They already know that it’s too late for one of Torbett’s victims because Kelly was talking to her on the phone and trying to convince her of the danger when Torbett broke in, but they know who and where the other two possible victims are, and they decide to try to reach them before Torbett does.

Part of the story that I had forgotten is that Matt comes from a bad neighborhood. One of the people Torbett is trying to kill also lives in that neighborhood, and when they go there, Kelly says that the neighborhood gives her the creeps. Then, she realizes that she might have offended Matt in the same way people have offended her for making fun of the place where she lives, and she apologizes to him. Matt says it’s okay, and he understands because it’s not a safe neighborhood. I liked that part of the story because I thought that it was an interesting comparison. There are different reasons why someone might have to live in a place that people consider undesirable (lack of money in Matt’s case, and their parents’ profession, in Kelly and Chace’s case), and it’s not always a reflection on the person so much as their circumstances.

In case you’re wondering if maybe Torbett is actually alive and was faking that he’d been dead, no, he actually is a risen corpse. At one point, he gets shot, and the hole is big enough for the kids to look right through it, and it doesn’t stop him. Torbett also isn’t lying about not being guilty of the murder he was sentenced for. Along the way, the kids learn who the real murderer was, and it’s one of Torbett’s victims.

The story has a kind of open ending. Just after the kids think that they’ve finally dealt with Torbett by cremating him, their parents come home from their dinner, saying that they had to leave early to pick up a body … at the state prison. It’s Torbett, and as the book ends, they see his head move under the sheet.

Posted on by TracyC

The Curse of the Pharaohs

Sherlock Holmes’ Tales of Terror

The Curse of the Pharaohs by Kel Richards, 1997.

This is the first book in a short series of spooky mysteries for children featuring Sherlock Holmes.

One foggy night, a woman named Laura Coffin comes to Baker Street to see Sherlock Holmes, and his friend, Dr. Watson. She’s very worried about her uncle, Professor Sloane Coffin, who is an Egyptologist, living in Scotland. He’s been very ill and is likely to die, but Laura is increasingly alarmed by his mental state. Her uncle has come to believe in the Ancient Egyptian religion and believes that, when he dies, he will return from the dead. He thinks this power to return from the dead and live forever will come from a diamond he found in a tomb in Egypt called the Eye of Osiris. Laura and her uncle’s doctor, Dr. Cabot, have also come to suspect that her uncle’s medical state may be due to poison, although they’re not sure who could be poisoning him. Laura has come to Sherlock Holmes because the local authorities don’t believe her.

The most likely suspects for poisoning the professor would be his lawyer, Mr. Grizzard, who has been staying in his house and seems to have a sinister and unhealthy influence over the professor; the professor’s manservant, who Laura suspects of plotting to steal her uncle’s diamond when he dies; and a mysterious Egyptian man who has been staying nearby and seems to be lurking around the professor’s property for unknown reasons. Sherlock Holmes promises Laura that he and Dr. Watson will come to Scotland and investigate her uncle’s condition. Privately, he tells Dr. Watson that he thinks that there is something else that’s bothering Laura, something that she’s not telling them.

When they arrive in Scotland, Laura is glad to see them, although Mr. Grizzard isn’t. Laura introduces them to Dr. Cabot and her uncle. Dr. Watson doesn’t recognize the disease that the professor is suffering from, and Dr. Cabot says that he can’t figure out why the professor is so sick. Based on the tests he’s done, the professor really shouldn’t be this bad, but he does look like he’s dying. The professor accuses his niece and everyone else of only being concerned about his diamond. The professor confirms that he believes everything that his niece said earlier. He says that he believes in Ancient Egyptian gods (he calls them “gods of darkness”, which doesn’t seem scholarly), and he believes that, through his diamond, they will bring him back to life, and he will live forever.

Soon after Holmes and Watson meet the professor, he suddenly dies. Mr. Grizzard explains the professor’s will and final wishes. Laura is the professor’s primary heir, but she cannot take possession of the estate until she is 21 years old, so Mr. Grizzard will be in charge of the estate as executor until then. The professor had an Egyptian-style tomb built in his backyard, and his wish was to be buried there, along with his diamond. Mr. Grizzard makes certain that the professor’s requests are carried out, including the requirement that the tomb must be able to unlock from the inside.

Holmes spots a man spying on the funeral. He and Watson take turns watching this man as he seems to be observing the tomb and waiting for something. As Watson watches this man during a storm, he sees the door of the tomb open and the professor come out! Unfortunately, Watson is knocked unconscious by a falling tree branch. When he wakes up, there is no sign of the professor, and the man who was spying on the tomb has been murdered!

Did Watson really see what he thought he saw? Did the professor really rise from his tomb and kill the man watching him? Why was this man watching the tomb in the first place? What will the professor do now, and what does he want?

My Reaction

When I first got this book, I wasn’t quite sure what to expect. Pastiches can take familiar characters in some unusual directions, and I had read a review criticizing this series for adding supernatural elements and Christian themes that weren’t found in the original Sherlock Holmes stories. I thought that the story would probably be a pseudo-ghost story, somewhat like Scooby-Doo mysteries, where it seems like something supernatural is happening, but there’s actually a rational, more physical explanation. However, I wasn’t completely sure for most of the book whether that would be the case or not. There’s room left for readers to wonder whether Professor Coffin has really risen from the dead or not.

For those who prefer the ghosts to have logical explanations … you won’t be disappointed. There is a rational explanation for everything that happens in the story, and there are multiple people who could be good candidates for the villain behind everything that happens. Some of my suspicions turned out to be correct, but there are actually multiple villains involved, which complicates the situation and offers surprises for readers.

The other reviewer was right that there are Christian themes in the story. The Christian themes don’t really come into the story until the end, when Holmes and Watson are discussing the case with Laura Coffin. Laura asks why God allows people to behave wickedly. Holmes and Watson say that it’s not so much a matter of God allowing it as people choosing to commit evil deeds, and reassuring her that, sooner or later, everyone faces the judgement of God. Laura feels disillusioned about some of the people she trusted, but they also reassure her that, as a wealthy young heiress, she has her life still ahead of her to enjoy, and she will find better people. The religious talk and the quote from the Bible do seem a little out of character because I can’t recall the characters focusing on religious morals in the original stories so much as the deductive process, but I didn’t think it was bad. It was just a brief conversation, not overdone. If the characters had talked that way all the way through the book, it might have been a bit much, but it seemed plausible enough for a brief conversation on the subject.

The themes of the story reminded me of the Sherlock Holmes computer game The Mystery of the Mummy, but the story in that computer game isn’t the same one in this book.