Our Man Weston by Gordon Korman, 1982.

Tom and Sidney Weston, a pair of identical twins, are excited about their first big summer jobs as service boys at a fancy resort hotel. Tom is thinking that the work is going to be easy and that they’ll have plenty of time to have fun, but then, he starts worrying about what kind of fun Sidney is going to try to have. Sidney mentions that they might see some interesting people at the hotel, and Tom remembers that Sidney thinks of himself as a detective and is always on the lookout for spies and criminals. It’s a real problem because Sidney is perpetually wrong in his suspicions about everything and everyone he tries to investigate. He’s gotten into trouble before for making false accusations, and because the two boys look alike, Tom sometimes gets blamed for things that Sidney does. Tom is really looking forward to this summer, and he’s determined that Sidney isn’t going to ruin their summer jobs.

Right from the first, Sidney is in detective mode. As the boys are picking up room service dishes, Sidney tries to study the dishes to make deductions about the people in each room. Tom tries to get Sidney to stop because their manager, Walter Parson, is a serious man with little patience, and he’s already annoyed that he has trouble telling the two boys apart. Sidney is excited when a hotel guest complains that her purse is missing, thinking that he’s found a case to investigate, but while he interviews her for details and pressing for details about a primary suspect, Tom just notices that the lady’s purse is still in her room. It wasn’t stolen, just misplaced. Tom uses this incident to emphasize to Sidney that he needs to give up this detective game because it only causes problems.

However, unbeknownst to the boys, there are real spies at the hotel, and they’re interested in the nearby air base, just like Sidney speculated might happen. The readers learn who the spies are right in the beginning, before the boys even know that there are spies. It’s a little like a Columbo mystery, where the identities of the villains aren’t a secret, and part of the suspense of the story is how the heroes will figure it out and prove it. Even though we know right away who the main villains are, Sidney is clueless.

Sidney continues investigating various guests as though they’re all spies or criminals, although he doesn’t seem at all suspicious of our real villains. He becomes convinced that Lawrence Waghorn is a spy when he’s actually a television writer who’s working on a script for a show about spies. He convinces the guest who temporarily lost her purse, Miss Fuller, that another guest, Mr. Kitzel, is a suspicious character, and she starts following him around and spying on him. In turn, Mr. Kitzel gets the idea that Miss Fuller either has an awkward crush on him or that she’s investigating him because he cheated on his taxes. He’s very nervous because she keeps following him around and tries his best to avoid her. Sidney steals his boss’s dog because he’s under the false impression that the dog is being trained to help the spies carry out their mission, and he seriously wants to inform the Prime Minister of Canada (where they live) and the President of the United States. Tom keeps trying to thwart his brothers’ various schemes and confiscate the spy equipment that he’s hidden around their hotel room. Confusion abounds, although some of its helps to inspire Waghorn, who has been suffering from a case of writer’s block.

Meanwhile, the real spy, Richard Knight (a pseudonym, county of origin unspecified), is trying to get his hands on a new airplane being tested at the nearby air base. He’s brought along a pilot named Bert Cobber. Cobber actually has military training and trained alongside the pilot testing the plane, “Wings” Weinberg. Weinberg has nerves of steel … except about anything related to his cadet days, having been partnered with Cobber, who is a skilled but reckless flier and nearly got him killed on many occasions while flying drunk, forgetting to put sufficient fuel in the plane, and repeatedly crashing. Weinberg hasn’t seen Cobber for years, but he practically has a nervous breakdown every time he relives those memories. A friend of Weinberg’s assures him that, if Cobber is really as reckless as Weinberg remembers, he probably got himself killed long ago, but Weinberg has the uneasy feeling that Cobber is still around somewhere.

Although many characters have the overall situation wrong, I appreciated those moments when some people got certain things exactly right. When Miss Fuller overhears Mr. Parson yet again mistaking Tom for Sidney and also quizzing him about why he’s getting mail from different government agencies, she steps up to tell him to stop his bullying, reminding him that mail is private and that the boy doesn’t owe him any explanation about his personal mail just because he works for him. She also tells him that he’s talking to Tom, not Sidney, and that he’s a fool for getting that wrong.

I also love it that the different government agencies that Sidney has been writing to already know who he is because Sidney has submitted many other inquiries to these various agencies. They’re all familiar with Sidney’s false accusations, and in their response letters to Sidney, they express both amusement for Sidney’s wild escapades and sympathy for whatever poor sap Sidney is suspicious of today. Sidney is never discouraged by their criticism of his wild theories or their requests for him to stop writing. It’s getting to the point where some law enforcement agencies are so fed up with Sidney that they wish they could find something to arrest him for.

Meanwhile, Richard Knight has noticed Sidney’s investigations, although he is unimpressed because he knows that Sidney is way off base. However, he hasn’t fully reckoned with the lengths Sidney is prepared to go to “save the western world”, and Sidney’s schemes interfere with Knight’s in completely unexpected ways.

My Reaction

I remember reading this book when I was in middle school, and I loved it. I remember thinking that it was really funny, although I’d forgotten a lot of the details since then. As an adult, I find Sidney more frustrating than I remember, and I feel sorry for poor, long-suffering Tom. As with the MacDonald Hall books by the same author but with different characters, Sidney’s crazy schemes end up working out for the best, and he ultimately saves the day, even though it’s largely by accident.

There are a couple of changes that I wish I could make to the story. First, I liked it that, while Mr. Kitzel isn’t a spy or a major criminal, he does have one guilty secret: he cheated on his taxes by claiming his dog as a dependent daughter. He becomes convinced that Miss Fuller is onto him for that. However, I’d like to create even more semi-guilty secrets for various guests at the hotel so that Sidney can be almost correct about some things while still missing the most suspicious person of all. As it is, Sidney is seriously way off base because he’s paranoid and delusional, although in a comedic sort of way. I don’t like characters that are intentionally stupid, so I’d like more secrets and petty crimes among the more innocent guests so Sidney can be almost right about them.

I’d also like to see Sidney develop some self-awareness during the course of the story. He is completely oblivious to his own failings and false conclusions and also to the way other people react to him, even when they tell him, in writing, that they don’t want to be bothered with his wild goose chases anymore. That’s part of the comedy of the story, but I find it a bit frustrating. Sidney does almost come to realize how other people look at him when he tries to persuade Miss Fuller that he was wrong about Mr. Kitzel being a spy, but she’s as impervious to correction as he is, so he ends up just letting her continue barking up the wrong tree. I think it would have shown more character development and maybe even have been more funny if Sidney comes to realize how Tom feels, trying to reign him in, if he had to try to control someone even more overly paranoid and determined than he is. The book ends well, but I think it would have been even better if, at the end, Sidney apologizes to Tom for everything he’s put him through, saying that, while everything worked out for the best, he realizes that he’s done a lot of things wrong and that he still has a lot to learn. Then, just when Tom thinks that things are going to calm down, he can see Sidney seriously reading a book about espionage or interrogation techniques and making notes or signing up for a summer correspondence course in criminal investigation, hinting that Sidney’s adventures aren’t over yet and leaving it open about whether he’s going to really learn something practical or just graduate to the next level of crazy.