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Imogene’s Antlers

ImogenesAntlers

Imogene’s Antlers by David Small, 1985.

One day, a young girl named Imogene wakes up to find that she has sprouted antlers during the night. It comes as a shock to the rest of her family, and she finds that it’s very difficult to do things with large antlers sticking out of her head.

No one seems to know why Imogene has sprouted antlers or what to do about them. Imogene’s mother faints just about every time she looks at her daughter, and her attempt to help Imogene hide them with a specially-designed hat is pure disaster. Imogene’s brother, Norman, thinks that Imogene might be a rare kind of elk now.

However, Imogene still has a lovely day as the family maid uses her as a rack to dry towels and the cook decks out her antlers with donuts to feed the birds.  She even puts candles on her antlers as an elaborate candelabra while she practices her piano lesson.

ImogenesAntlersDonuts

Still, it’s a most bizarre day, and her family is relieved when the antlers are gone the following morning.  But, Imogene’s adventures may only be just beginning.

The book never offers an explanation for why Imogene grew antlers or why she now has a peacock tail, but it doesn’t really matter. This is just one of those books that’s fun to read because it’s silly. While Imogene’s mother panics over her daughter’s condition and tries to hide it under a ridiculously big hat at one point, readers don’t have to worry about the long-term implications of Imogene’s antlers (or any other animal transformations) because she just enjoys them for what they are. The peacock feathers may not have as many practical uses as the antlers did, but one can imagine that Imogene will make the most of them while she has them.  I loved this book when I was a kid!

This book was featured on Reading Rainbow.  It is currently available online through Internet Archive.

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The Stinky Cheese Man

StinkyCheeseMan

The Stinky Cheese Man and Other Fairly Stupid Tales by Jon Scieszka and Lane Smith, 1992.

StinkyCheeseManDuckThis book is a spoof on a number of classic fairy tales. As it explains in the introduction, the short stories included in the book are more Fairly Stupid Tales than Fairy Tales, giving the example of Goldilocks and the Three Elephants: A girl smells peanut porridge and wants to enter the elephants’ house to eat some and try out their furniture, but elephant furniture is too big for her to climb up on, so she just leaves, The End. That incredibly short story isn’t found anywhere else in the book, but it’s a good example of what the other stories are like.

Even the set up of the book is a joke, with the Little Red Hen showing up to demand help with her wheat only for Jack the Narrator to tell her that it’s too soon because they haven’t even had the title page yet. The title page has the words “Title Page” larger than the title itself, and the dedication is upside down because who would actually read it anyway? Then, Chicken Licken thinks that the sky is falling and that everyone should run and tell the President, but it turns out that what’s falling is actually the Table of Contents, which squashes everyone before Foxy Loxy can eat them.

Then, the rest of the stories begin:

StinkyCheeseManMattressesChicken Licken – As described above

The Princess and the Bowling Ball – parody of the Princess and the Pea – Starts off like the original story with the prince’s parents testing princesses to see if they can feel a pea through a whole bunch of mattresses, but none of them ever do, so the prince takes matters into his own hands to rig the test in favor of the girl he really wants to marry.

The Really Ugly Duckling – parody of The Ugly Duckling – When the really ugly duckling grows up, he’s basically just an ugly duck. The End.

The Other Frog Prince – parody of The Frog Prince – The frog isn’t really a prince. He just said that because he wanted a kiss.

Little Red Running Shorts – parody of Little Red Riding Hood – Jack the Narrator accidentally spoils the story by revealing too much in his introduction to it, so the characters feel like there’s no need to act it out, and the Little Red Hen fills up the extra space, demanding to know why they haven’t gotten to her story yet.

Jack’s Bean Problem – parody of Jack and the Beanstalk – Jack the Narrator starts to tell his own story about defeating the Giant, but the Giant protests because he doesn’t like always being tricked and takes control and reads a story that he “wrote” himself, cut out of pieces of other random stories from different books. When the Giant threatens to eat Jack if he can’t tell a better story, Jack tells a story that constantly repeats until it transitions into the next one.

Cinderumpelstiltskin – parody of Cinderella and Rumpelstiltskin – Starts out like the usual Cinderella story, but Rumpelstiltskin shows up and offers to teach her how to spin straw into gold. Cinderella doesn’t see how that can possibly help her since he doesn’t have a gown for her to wear to the ball, so she ends up without either a gown or any gold.

The Tortoise and the Hair – parody of The Tortoise and the Hare – A rabbit tells the tortoise that he’s so slow that he can grow hair faster than the tortoise can run. By the end of the story, the tortoise is still running, and the rabbit is still growing hair.

The Stinky Cheese Man – parody of The Gingerbread Man – An old couple make a “child” for themselves out of stinky cheese. When he takes on a life of his own and run away, they don’t bother to chase him because they can’t stand the smell. Nobody else wants to chase him, either.

StinkyCheeseManCinderSo, why isn’t there a Little Red Hen story listed? At the end of the book, she shows up to complain about how she had to do everything herself to make the bread and nobody even saved space for her story (because Jack had to sneak away from the Giant after he fell asleep). The Giant wakes up and decides to make a chicken sandwich with the bread.

Understanding the jokes in the book requires a knowledge of the stories they’re spoofing, so this isn’t a book for very young children. Any kid who reads this should already know the classic fairy tales and be old enough to appreciate the humorous twists. I think kids feel clever when they realize that they can recognize the references in the stories and know where and how the parodies are different from the originals. Some of the humor has to do with the abrupt endings, simplifying issues that are more drawn-out in the original stories.  I remember liking this book when I was in elementary school!

The art style is very distinctive, with a number of cutout elements with different textures. It’s fascinating to see the way that the pictures were put together.

The book is currently available online through Internet Archive.

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The Paper Bag Princess

PaperBagPrincess

The Paper Bag Princess by Robert Munsch, 1980.

Princess Elizabeth is a stylish young princess, engaged to the handsome Prince Ronald. But, one day, a dragon attacks her castle, incinerating all of Elizabeth’s fine clothes and carrying Ronald off to its lair.

Donning the only thing she can find to wear, an old paper bag, Princess Elizabeth tracks the dragon down to rescue Ronald.

In this unconventional fairy tale story, Princess Elizabeth must defeat the dragon in a duel of wits in order to rescue her prince, but in a humorous twist ending, Ronald is somewhat less than grateful for her help because Princess Elizabeth is no longer stylish in her old paper bag.

The book is available to borrow and read for free online through Internet Archive.

PaperBagPrincessRonaldRescued

My Reaction

Books like these can be a good antidote to people who are tired of prissier princess stories with flamboyant gowns and a wedding (or at least kissing) at the end. The story is deliberately humorous and correct in pointing out that people who worry more about the clothes you’re wearing than the things you do for them are not worth bothering with.  Prince Ronald is shallow. He has the look of a prince but not much substance, caring more about appearances than about what his princess went through for his sake.

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The Sly Spy

Olivia Sharp, Agent for Secrets

OSSpy

The Sly Spy by Marjorie Weinman Sharmat and Mitchell Sharmat, 1990.

Someone has been trying to steal Olivia’s business by covering up her flyers with ones that say E.J.’s Spy Service. At the same time, Olivia’s friends are trying to keep Desiree’s birthday present a secret even though she has been snooping at their houses to find out what it is.

Olivia’s friends bought her a pet canary because she said that she likes feathers, and they ask Olivia to hide it at her penthouse until the party. However, it looks like Desiree has hired E.J. to spy on her friends and discover what they’re giving her for her birthday.  Olivia has to outwit the spy and prove to him that some cases aren’t worth taking.

In a way, this story is kind of like business ethics for kids.  First, covering up Olivia’s ads to prevent her from getting business was a form of unfair competition.  Then, when Olivia points out to E.J. that he also has a surprise present to give to Desiree, she helps him to understand why the other kids want to keep their present a secret.  It wasn’t really ethical for E.J. to take Desiree’s case in the first place since it would be better for her to be surprised on her birthday.  Olivia makes sure that E.J. only has a vague notion about what Desiree’s present actually is, and he figures out what to tell Desiree so that he can fulfill his duty to her without giving away the surprise.

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The Princess of the Fillmore Street School

Olivia Sharp, Agent for Secrets

OSPrincess

The Princess of the Fillmore Street School by Marjorie Weinman Sharmat and Mitchell Sharmat, 1989.

Desiree, who has always been a bit prissy, tells Olivia that she has decided that she wants to be princess of their school. She plans to prove that she is a perfect princess by trying to make all the other kids perfect. She is getting on everyone’s nerves, telling them to stand up straight or that their hair needs to be fixed.

When the others ask Olivia to help, she suggests to Desiree that she concentrate on making improvements to the school itself, but even that causes problems. Eventually, things get to the point where the school’s principal asks for Olivia’s help. Can anything stop the princess of Fillmore Street School before she drives everyone crazy?

Olivia’s solution is partly pointing out to Desiree the effect that she’s having on other people and partly explaining that a school which is already governed by a principal doesn’t also need a princess.  Then, she finds a way to help Desiree to feel like a princess even though she can’t be one.

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The Pizza Monster

Olivia Sharp, Agent for Secrets

OSPizzaMonster

The Pizza Monster by Marjorie Weinman Sharmat and Mitchell Sharmat, 1989.

Olivia lives in a penthouse in San Francisco with her chauffer, Willie, and her housekeeper, Mrs. Fridgeflake. Her wealthy parents live there, too, but they are often traveling and are rarely home. When her best friend, Taffy, moves away, Olivia is lonely. She buys herself a pet owl named Hoot, but that still doesn’t completely help.  She needs something to help keep herself busy. Olivia realizes that she is good at keeping secrets and at helping people with their problems, so she decides to busy herself running a service to help people with their secret problems. She has a bunch of flyers made and hangs them up around town saying that she is an agent for secrets and will help people.

A boy named Duncan, who Olivia knows from school, asks her to help him with his friend, Desiree. He says that they were together at the pizza parlor when she suddenly got angry and walked out.  He doesn’t know what made her angry, but he asks Olivia to help him find out and fix their relationship.

Olivia’s attempts to help are a matter of trial and error. At first, Olivia thinks that Desiree was merely offended that Duncan gave her the smallest slice of pizza. She suggests that Duncan buy her another whole pizza, but that doesn’t work. Even Olivia’s idea to buy her a lot of different kinds of pizza doesn’t work. Eventually, Olivia talks to Desiree herself and learns that there is another reason why she is angry with Duncan.

It turns out that the problem doesn’t have anything to do with pizza but with Duncan himself.  He’s always full of doom and gloom and criticism for everything.  What Duncan needs is an attitude adjustment.  He doesn’t realize that his pessimism and negativity makes it difficult for others to be around him.  Olivia encourages him to be more positive and to develop his sense of humor.  Once his attitude improves, so does his relationship with Desiree.

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Nate the Great and the Phony Clue

NatePhonyClue

Nate the Great and the Phony Clue by Marjorie Weinman Sharmat, 1977.

One day, as Nate is coming back from a run with his dog, Sludge, he finds a torn piece of paper on his doorstep that says “VITA.”

NatePhonyClueJog

Realizing that this odd word is actually part of a longer word in a message, he decides to hunt down the rest of it.

Thinking that perhaps Rosamond’s cats may have found the message and torn it, he goes to Rosamond’s house. When he gets there, he sees that more of the message is up in a tree with Big Hex.

Even when Nate gets that piece, it still doesn’t tell him the full story of the message. It seems that someone is inviting Nate to come to their house at three that afternoon, but without a name or address, how will Nate know where to go?

It looks like there’s still one more piece missing from the message, so he begins looking for it. One of the other boys in the neighborhood, Finley, says that he doesn’t think Nate is really as “Great” as he says he is, and he doubts that Nate will find what he’s looking for. When Finley walks away, dropping a piece of paper behind him, Nate thinks that perhaps Finley is giving him a clue.

It turns out that the paper that Finley dropped says “phony clue” on it. However, Finley’s “phony clue” turns out to be the clue that Nate needs to solve the mystery!

NatePhonyClueKids

My Reaction and Spoilers

This test of Nate the Great’s detective skills is actually a test set up by Finley and his friend, Pip, who have a bet about whether or not Nate will put all the pieces together by three o’clock.  I thought that might be the case from the beginning, but I’m not sure whether that’s because the mystery is obvious or if I helf-remembered the solution to the mystery from when I first read the book when I was a kid.

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Nate the Great Goes Undercover

NateUndercover

Nate the Great Goes Undercover by Marjorie Weinman Sharmat, 1974.

Nate isn’t too fond of his next-door neighbor, Oliver. He thinks Oliver is a pest. Still, when Oliver tells Nate that someone keeps getting into his garbage cans at night, knocking them over and stealing garbage, Nate is curious.

NateUndercoverOliver

Nate recently found and adopted a dog, which he calls Sludge, and he decides to take Sludge along on the case. After interviewing a couple of girls who live in the neighborhood, Rosamond and Esmeralda, Nate comes to the conclusion that no human would ever visit Oliver’s garbage cans at night. Humans are not interested in stealing someone else’s garbage or in visiting Oliver’s house because Nate is not the only person who thinks that Oliver is a pest.

So what does that leave? Perhaps some kind of animal? But what kind? There is only one way to find out, and it’s not going to be pretty. Nate has to hide out in Oliver’s garbage at night. It’s a dirty job, but, well, you know . . .

My Reaction and Spoilers

NateUndercoverNote

I think a lot of people would see the solution to this puzzle coming. I frequently debate about how many spoilers to include in these reviews/summaries (and frequently give in to the urge to offer them), but I think Sludge’s past as a stray dog and his expressions when Nate keeps feeding him pancakes really say it all.

NateUndercoverGarbageCan

Later editions of the book also have a section of activities in the back. There is information about animals that come out at night and things to do to make baths more interesting and recipes for hamburgers and ice cream (which are among the things that Rosamond says that she would rather eat than garbage).

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Nate the Great

NateGreat

Nate the Great by Marjorie Weinman Sharmat, 1972.

Nate is eating his favorite breakfast, pancakes, when his friend Annie calls him from her house down the street, asking for his help in finding a lost picture. When Nate arrives at Annie’s house, she says that she painted a picture of her dog, Fang, and then left it on her desk to dry, but it disappeared.

NateGreatBreakfast

After establishing that Annie’s house has no trapdoors or secret passages, Nate declares that this will be a very dull case. But, of course, he investigates anyway.

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Nate searches Annie’s room, and not finding the picture, asks Annie who else knew about it. Annie says that she showed it to Fang, her little brother Harry, and her friend Rosamond.

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Determining that Fang didn’t bury the picture of himself and that Rosamond is only interested in cats, that just leaves Harry. But, if Harry took Annie’s picture, why did he take it and what did he do with it?

NateGreatHarry

My Reaction

This is a fun mystery for young children, one of the first mysteries that I read as a kid. The pictures in the book have clues, and it helps if kids know how to combine colors to create new ones (hint).

Later editions of the book also have a section of activities in the back. Most of them have to do with art and color, and there is also a recipe for pancakes.

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Top Secret

TopSecretTop Secret by John Reynolds Gardiner, 1984.

Nine-year-old Allen Brewster’s teacher, Miss Green, is obsessed with the science fair. Every year, there is a silver trophy awarded to the best science fair project and another prize for the best science teacher. No one in Miss Green’s class has ever won the trophy, and so Miss Green has never won the best science teacher award. All the best projects are done by older students. Miss Green hates it, and she’s been known to flunk kids who do especially bad on their science fair projects.

However, Allen Brewster thinks that he’s got the kind of project that Miss Green has been waiting for. When his mother served liver for dinner one night, Allen got to thinking how much nicer it would be if people didn’t have to eat, if they could just get nutrients from the sun, like plants do during photosynthesis. So, he decides that he wants to research human photosynthesis. When he tells Miss Green what he wants to do, she says that’s impossible and refuses to take his idea seriously. Instead, she tells him that he’s going to do a project on the topic of lipstick.

TopSecretTeacherAllen is angry that Miss Green didn’t take him seriously, and lipstick is the last thing that he’s interested in. His parents think that he should just do the lipstick project and forget about it. Even if human photosynthesis were possible, how could a nine-year-old possibly achieve such a thing? Real discoveries are made by important men, not little boys. However, Allen’s grandfather encourages him to persevere in what he wants. He says that Allen has everything that a important man would have: five good senses and a brain that he can use to think. Allen’s grandfather often thinks about strange things himself, and he encourages Allen to think all the time.

“Cause you know what you are when you stop thinking, don’t you?”

“What?”

“You’re dead.”

TopSecretGrandpaAlthough Allen acts like he’s carrying out the lipstick project, with his parents’ help, he continues studying photosynthesis on the side. When Allen gets stuck on what to do next, his grandfather advises him to “think crazy,” to just let his mind explore possibilities and see what it comes up with.

What Allen comes up with is that, in order for a person to experience photosynthesis, the hemoglobin in human blood would have to act like chlorophyll in plants, and the difference between the two substances is magnesium. By experimenting with kitchen leftovers, especially (and unfortunately), the liver his mother made, Allen discovers that he is beginning to experience photosynthesis. He is no longer hungry for food, he craves water, loves sunlight more than ever, and he is turning green.

When his parents realize what he’s done, they panic and take him to a hospital, but the doctor can’t find anything wrong with him. He thinks that Allen is green because of allergies. When he goes to school, people notice right away how weird he looks, but they think that it’s just makeup. Miss Green is furious, sending him home to wash the “paint” off.

Trying to get everyone to believe what he’s done, Allen goes to the local newspaper. They do a story about him, but people still aren’t convinced. However, the President of the United States happens to be visiting the city. Allen writes to him, hoping to convince him of his discovery. In the end, Allen’s discovery is recognized by the government (whose scientists also figure out how to turn him back into a normal human), but it’s also, unfortunately, now considered top secret. Allen won’t be allowed to talk about it anymore or claim credit for it. Putting it in the science fair is completely out of the question. Allen could keep quiet about the whole thing . . . but he doesn’t want to.

TopSecretDoctors

Allen’s discovery has problems. One of which, as he learns for himself while he’s a plant person, is that with photosynthesis, he’s completely dependent on sunlight. During a spell of bad weather, it’s only his desk lamp that keeps him alive. Then, the government people point out that if people aren’t dependent on food, society as we know it would break down. Industries that produce food or food-related items would no longer be necessary. In fact, people wouldn’t really have to work at all because they would no longer need to buy food. Allen thinks that sounds pretty good, but the world would no longer be the same. To the government, the economic and social repercussions of Allen’s discovery are the most important, but personally, I think it’s just as well that the project does end because I think bad weather would be an insurmountable problem.

The humor really makes this story.  I love Allen’s grandfather, who loves coming up with odd ideas and fully supports Allen’s project to turn himself into a plant person.  He matter-of-factly sprays his grandson with bug spray when he gets aphids and has a spot for Allen reserved in his garden, if he needs it.  I’m glad that Allen didn’t remain a plant person because I found his state a little disturbing, but Allen’s description of his experiment is pretty fun.