And This is Laura by Ellen Conford, 1977.

Twelve-year-old Laura Hoffman feels out of place in her family. Her other three siblings are over-achievers. They all have particular talents and interests and earn awards for them or just have the ability to impress people. Laura gets good grades in school, but apart from that, she doesn’t seem to have any unique talents or interests. She doesn’t think there’s anything about her that would earn an award or impress anybody. Laura feels depressingly average next to the other members of her family.

It isn’t that her family is pressuring her to achieve anything in particular or to be like them or do what they’re doing. It’s just that Laura wishes that she had something more interesting and distinctive about herself. Other people who know Laura’s siblings keep comparing her to other members of her family. When she joins the drama club at school, one of her teachers seems a little disappointed that she’s not quite as good at acting as her older sister is. Laura’s friend, Beth, tells her that she’s good, but Laura feels like she’s never good enough, never as distinctive as she should be.

By contrast, Beth’s family is much more conventional. She only has one younger sibling, not three siblings, like Laura. Her mother is a lawyer, and their house is always neat and stylish. Laura’s house is noisy and chaotic, and she describes their household clutter as looking like a rummage sale. Laura thinks of herself as being a more ordinary, conventional person, and it occurs to her that she feels more at home in a conventional house. When Beth comes to visit Laura’s house, Laura worries at first that Beth will think her family is too weird. However, Beth is charmed by their eccentricity. In fact, Laura feels a little hurt at how interesting Beth finds the rest of her family. Laura worries that she’ll always be boring and ordinary compared to everyone else. However, Laura has a special talent that even she doesn’t realize that she has.

While Beth is having dinner with Laura and her family, Laura’s mind wanders from the chaotic conversation at the dinner table. She suddenly finds herself having a vision of her scientist father in his laboratory. She sees him meeting a man in a white shirt and then acting excited, like he’s just had an important discovery. The vision feels strange to Laura different from a daydream. When it’s over, she hears her father saying that he has a lot on his mind, and Laura absent-mindedly tell him that he’ll figure it all out tomorrow, after the man with the white shirt comes. Suddenly, everyone stops eating and stares at her, wondering what she meant, but even Laura herself isn’t sure. She’s aware that she knew her father was working on some difficult problem because he was juggling hard-boiled eggs earlier (something her eccentric father does whenever he needs to think), but she’s never had visions like that before and doesn’t know who the man in the white shirt is or what her vision really means. She just thinks it’s nice that everyone seemed to notice her.

There must be something to Laura’s visions because her father later tells her that he figured out his problem just like she said she would. Beth is intrigued by Laura’s apparent ability to predict things and tries to help her have another vision. Laura sees Beth on a stage with flowers at her feet and takes that to mean that she’ll be the star of the drama club play. However, Laura isn’t sure that her visions are always true because, when Beth tries out for the lead, she only gets the second best part in the play.

Another odd thing about Laura’s ability is that the girls realize that it doesn’t work well in a quiet environment, like Beth’s house. Laura gets visions when she’s surrounded by noisy chaos and starts to feel like she’s either outside of the situation or wants to be outside of it.

At first, Laura likes feeling special and noticed because of this unusual ability she seems to have, but it soon starts to worry her. She’s not sure that she can always trust her visions to be right or her ability to interpret them. She also begins to realize that it’s not so much that people are starting to notice her as a person but to pay attention to her ability, which is different. It starts to make her feel even more out of it than before.

Then, Laura has a terrifying vision where her younger brother, Dennis, is missing and her mother is frantic with worry. Is that vision real? Is something really going to happen to Dennis, or is there another explanation? The vision wasn’t clear on what would happen to Dennis, and if it is a real vision, can Laura do anything to protect her little brother?

The book is available to borrow and read for free online through Internet Archive.

My Reaction and Spoilers

This story starts off like many other kids’ books I’ve read, where a character feels out of place in their family or wishes that they had some talent that would make them stand out from their siblings. Then, it takes a turn for the mysterious when Laura begins to have visions that make it seem like she can predict the future. At first, Laura enjoys the feeling of being special and noticed, but then, her visions start to frighten her.

Another girl at school, Jamie, hears her talking about it with Beth, and she tells Laura that she’s fascinated by people with psychic abilities. She’s read about it before, and she points out to Laura that not being right all the time or not knowing what a vision means at first doesn’t mean that she isn’t gifted. When she explains to Laura how alarming visions can have perfectly innocent explanations because visions can be metaphorical, Laura feels better.

Jamie persuades Laura to give psychic readings to classmates for money, but the idea of turning her newfound ability into a business doesn’t feel right to her. Sometimes, she sees things that she doesn’t like, things that frighten her. It’s bad enough to predict that a classmate will fail a class, but another vision suggests that a classmate will die. He doesn’t die, but he does get into a car accident, and that’s bad enough. Laura realizes that it’s horrible to see that bad things will happen without having a way to do anything about it. Also, instead of being pleased and proud of her, her family finds the whole business unnerving and all of the kids who come to see her for psychic readings too chaotic, even for them.

There are also the disturbing visions that Laura keeps seeing about Dennis. She takes her friends and her old sister, Jill, into her confidence. Jill says that she will keep a close eye on Dennis to make sure nothing happens to him. Dennis does disappear during the story, and people worry about him, but nothing bad happens to him. Nobody in this story dies, and Laura uses her visions to figure out where Dennis is.

Toward the end of the book Laura talks to her parents about whether or not they’re proud of her because of her psychic abilities. They have a family talk about what it means to be proud of someone. The parents say that they’re not proud of their children for being talented because they don’t see themselves as being directly responsible for their talents. They love all of their children simply because they’re their children, and they’re good people, who do what they think is right and care about others. As far as talents and accomplishments go, the parents see their role as parents as making resources available to their children so they can develop whatever talents they have to the fullest, whether that means letting them have music lessons or encouraging them to try out for the school play. Whatever talents the children have are simply what they were born with, and their achievements are signs that they’re making use of what they have. The children accomplish what they work for themselves, and they’re doing it because they love doing it, not because the parents require it. What makes the parents proud of their children is when they find out what they’re good at and what they love doing. It doesn’t matter to them what their children’s talents are or how their talents compare to each other’s; they just want all of their children to find fulfillment in what they do.

In fact, her mother says that she thinks part of Laura’s trouble is that she’s good at too many things. She’s always gotten good grades in every class, so none of her subjects seems to stand out. If she only got mediocre grades in most subjects and good grades in just one, she would feel like she had a particular talent for that one subject. When she gets equally good grades for everything, nothing stands out to her as her special talent. Rather than being “boring” and “ordinary”, as Laura thinks of herself, she’s actually well-rounded and multi-talented.

Her parents have always been confident that Laura would find her own interests and talents in life. She just feels unaccomplished next to her siblings because, except for Dennis, her siblings are older than she is and have had more time to figure out what their interests are and build up accomplishments. Laura is also a good, caring person, who has been using her talent to help other people to the best of her ability. She looked into everyone else’s future but her own. Her parents say that having a lovable and loving daughter means more to them than any number of impressive accomplishments would be. Whatever anyone else in the world thinks about Laura and her abilities, her family loves her for who she is, not her abilities.

I like the parents’ attitudes, and it seems that the rest of Laura’s family feels the same way, especially her older sister, Jill. I enjoyed how supportive Jill was about both Laura’s psychic abilities and about her acting. When Laura tells Jill that she’s thinking about quitting the drama club because her teacher seems disappointed that her acting isn’t as good as Jill’s, Jill persuades her not to quit. Jill tells Laura that she would understand if she wanted to quit the drama club because she discovered that she really didn’t like drama after all, but she doesn’t want her to quit because she thinks she isn’t good enough. Jill says that Laura is good but that she just needs a little more coaching. She wants her sister to see that she is more talented and capable than she thinks and to make the best use she can of her talents, all of them.

There were a few instances of mild swearing in the book and one semi-dirty joke. When Laura thinks that she’s hopeless at acting because her teacher is disappointed that she’s not like her sister and says that she’s going to give up the drama club, Jill insists that Laura read the role for her so she can see what her performance is really like. Laura doesn’t really want to, but Jill insists that she stand up and read it properly because “You can’t act lying down.” Laura quips that “You can if you’re in an x-rated movie”, and Jill wryly tells her that she’s too young for that. The joke only works if the reader knows what an x-rated movie is, so it would probably go right over the heads of anyone too young to understand it.

One part of this book that I thought was amusing was when Laura explains about her mother’s writing career. When her mother was younger, she played bit parts in movies, and now, she writes gothic romance novels and westerns. Laura doesn’t like the westerns, but she’s read a couple of the gothic romances, and she has noticed that her mother’s gothic romances are very formulaic – “heroines who go to live in crumbling old castles where dark family secrets are buried and everyone acts strangely and the heroine finds herself in Terrible Danger.” That is a concise and accurate description of that entire genre of books. Her mother says that’s part of the challenge of writing gothic romance – writing the same story over and over in different ways so readers can hardly recognize that it’s the same story at all.

The reason why that’s funny to me is that, years ago, my brother and I were sorting through some old books, and we found our mother’s old collection of gothic romance books. I was immediately struck that all the covers on the books looked alike. They weren’t completely identical, but they all had young women in dresses running away from crumbling old manor houses or castles while looking scared. Sometimes, the heroine had a blue dress and sometimes a red one. (More often than not, the dress was blue, but sometimes, there would be a girl in red, pink, or white. Other colors were rare.) There were a few where it looked like it was even the same girl or the same castle viewed from a different angle. I thought it was so funny, I picked up a couple more with very similar covers from a thrift store and made a couple of digital collages with them that I turned into backgrounds for my computer screen. The same story, told over and over in different ways. You can’t judge a book by its cover, but these covers do explain a genre. I’m not saying it’s not a fun genre, only that I find it funny. Whoever did the covers for these books was undertaking the same sort of challenge that writers like Laura’s mother did in writing them.